What is your favourite season of year? Why?
It’s the summer solstice and, despite that we often refer to this time of year as Midsummer, it’s really the START of astrological (or maybe astronomical?) summer. I am firmly an autumn person, but Louis Catorze LOVES the summer – well, he is the Sun King, so it’s not surprising that he loves the long, bright evenings. Usually, I post something heartwarming and positive about him on this day. However, this year, I’m at my wits’ end because Catorze has rediscovered his lust for blood.
Last week the little sod caught three mice in a few days. Whilst most normal cats are taking it easy in the heat to conserve their strength, our old boy is finding the energy to hunt. Two of the mice – or, rather, what was left of them – were given the customary burial in the park bin across the road, and I successfully avoided That Neighbour (who disapproves of park bins being being used for this purpose*) during the drop-off. The third mouse was released by Catorze in the garden, before he could make it to the house, and it may or may not still be at large.
*That Neighbour may have a point: Hounslow Council say that we’re not supposed to put “domestic waste” in public bins. But what are we supposed to do if, for instance, the collection is at 7:00 and the bastard cat brings a mouse at 7:01? Should we really keep a mouse corpse rotting in a plastic bag for a whole week until the next collection?
Some years ago – just after the Curious Incident of the Curly-Haired Rat in the Daytime – I considered the reasons why cats hunt, and I offered the following theories as possibilities:
1. It’s part of an involuntary natural instinct.
2. The mice/rodents are gifts borne out of love.
3. Cats think we are rubbish hunters, so are attempting to show us how it ought to be done.
4. Cats are little shits.
Somehow, despite the fact that one of those ideas stands out head and shoulders above the others, I didn’t come to any firm conclusions at the time and left the whole debate open. I know. What an idiot.
Now, the reason I refer back to this is because of what happened when Catorze released La Souris Numéro 3 last week. He was on his way indoors with it and, when he realised that Cat Daddy had seen him, he dropped the mouse and scarpered.
Let us, if you will, consider the above four theories once more, with specific relation to this highly suspicious action:
1. Were hunting an involuntary natural instinct (i.e. cats are evolved to catch rodents for food), it would have made far more sense to scarper WITH the mouse. Why lose your dinner AND potentially allow the taker-by-surprise to grab it?
2. Were hunting a thoughtful, selfless gesture, Catorze would, surely, have approached his papa to deliver it, rather than running?
3. Were hunting merely a helpful demo for the benefit of us humans, again, wouldn’t Catorze have approached Cat Daddy to say, “Voilà! This is what you need to do, papa!”?
This only leaves number 4. And we’ve all seen enough heinous crime documentaries (haven’t we … or is it just me?) to know that innocent individuals don’t run when confronted.
I hereby conclude that the “Why cats hunt” debate, which pre-dates time itself, is over. Although we knew the answer anyway, didn’t we?
Joyeux Solstice. May all cat freaks spend this glorious day – and this season – sans souris.
louiscatorze.com 
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