Des chats et des hommes

It’s the coldest night of the month so far and, naturellement, Louis Catorze has picked now to escape out at The Front.

It’s too cold for me to go out looking for him. In fact, it’s too cold even for me to stand at the door for a few minutes and call for him (not that he comes when he’s called). But the thing is that Laurence driving the Plum Van is due to arrive any minute. And, when Catorze and Ocado drivers meet, it’s never pretty.

This evening will end in one of the following ways:

1. Catorze will come in the next time I call him, forever remaining unaware of Laurence’s impending arrival (unlikely).

2. Catorze will sit quietly on the window sill, observe Laurence from afar and allow him to deliver in peace (not a chance in hell).

3. Laurence have to slalom* around a screaming cat whilst he delivers our groceries, before eventually scrambling to safety and screeching off in the Plum Van at top speed (BINGO).

*Yes, I know that slaloming usually involves weaving in and out of many stationary objects, not one moving one. But anyone who has ever met a cat will understand.

Anyway, the little sod is still out there – we don’t know exactly where – and the clock is ticking for Laurence. The only thing that could make this worse would be That Neighbour putting his bins out at the very moment that the carnage kicks off.

Oh. Mon. Dieu.

Où t’es, Louis où t’es?

19 thoughts on “Des chats et des hommes

    1. I’m sorry to say that, erm, ahem, I went to bed and let Cat Daddy deal with it. So I still don’t know what, if anything, happened. I was woken at 6am by the little sod so clearly he made it in!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Louis is the most beautiful cat. I really enjoy reading about his life. I have had Siamese cats who loved scaring dogs (big and small), as well as intimidating people who were scared of cats (cat’s just know!)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha, they sound hilarious! Our first cat, Misha, would sit on the front doorstep and attack dogs as they walked past. People used to either cross the road when they reached our house or, if the dogs were small, pick them up, run past and set them down again!

      Liked by 2 people

        1. He does.

          He once escaped out the front and was out for three days as he:
          i) wouldn’t come back in,
          ii) then decided to go walkabout.

          He was eventually retrieved from the other end of the street.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m afraid I went to bed and left Cat Daddy to it. I’ve opened my email and there aren’t any complaints from Ocado, so this means everything was ok, right? RIGHT?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Do you have any idea as to what sets him off? Perhaps he considers Ocado or Plum vans dèclassè, unworthy of stopping at Le Chateau? Or does Laurence carry the scent of dogs (from other deliveries?)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think he likes Ocado drivers as they are almost always men! He once thundered up and down the stairs in excitement when one arrived, causing the poor man to flee in terror.

      Liked by 1 person

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