The autumn chaos has started, and Louis Catorze is in big trouble.

First of all, when Cat Daddy was organising some important papers, Sa Maj decided that a paperweight was required, and that he was it:

TUCK THAT TAIL.

Secondly, on the day of the autumn equinox, Catorze shamed us beyond words by attacking another cat who passed through the garden. Despite being much larger than Catorze (and, let’s face it, who isn’t?), this poor cat was terrified and desperate to get away; Cat Daddy even intervened to try to help him but, somehow, in doing so, only succeeded in blocking off his escape routes and making him an easier target for evil Catorze.

The little sod eventually emerged from the skirmish as the victor, utterly unscathed and ACTUALLY SPITTING OUT LUMPS OF THE INTERLOPER’S FUR.

And we have just discovered that, as well as rubbing his Gabapentin onto his new bed (which isn’t the end of the world since it’s only for his use), he has rubbed it off onto our sofa (which absolutely IS the end of the world since it’s for everyone’s use). It has discoloured the leather, and Cat Daddy is absolutely enraged.

We didn’t see Catorze do it but, before you all start sticking up for him, there is nothing else whatsoever that this could be. We do eat and drink on the sofa, but we always do so on the seat bits in the middle, never whilst leaning over the arms.

He did it. We can’t prove it, but we know it.

Luckily we took out additional five-year insurance cover when we purchased the sofa, and this entitles us to a replacement in the event of damage, including cat damage. But, no doubt, if we go ahead with that now, the little sod will only do something else to the next one, and I fear that the cover only allows replacement of the original sofa and not every subsequent one cat-damaged.

Cat Daddy: “Getting rid is going to be such a pain in the arse.”

I think he was still talking about the sofa.

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19 responses to “Le Roi diabolique”

  1. catladymac avatar
    catladymac

    Leather usually discolors as it gains a patina from use. Best idea is to hold off until near the very end of the warranty and then replace it, instead of trying to keep up. It’ll look like normal use. (That’s what antimacassars were invented for.)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      I had to Google “patina”! 🤣🤣🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      1. catladymac avatar
        catladymac

        At least I spelled it right ! With my typing I had to look back to see what I HAD typed, but I did mean “patina.”

        Liked by 2 people

        1. catladymac avatar
          catladymac

          But you didn’t have to google antimacassar ??

          Liked by 2 people

          1. iamthesunking avatar
            iamthesunking

            I do now! 🤣🤣🤣

            Liked by 2 people

  2. Kate Crimmins avatar

    Nope, I don’t think he did it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      He did it! 🤣🤣🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mmechapeau avatar
    mmechapeau

    You don’t have to feel ashamed. All the other cats should know there is a king living with you and avoid your garden.
    😺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      I just wish he would be nice!

      Like

      1. mmechapeau avatar
        mmechapeau

        As nice as the Queen?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Erm … not sure about that! 🤣🤣🤣

          Like

  4. Dr. CaSo avatar

    You should be grateful that Sa Maj keeps intruders away! And buy a couch that is cat-proof, which means that when the cat “damages it,” it actually looks better 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Hahaha! 🤣🤣🤣 Sadly I don’t think anything is Roi-proof. He is the feline version of an atomic bomb.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Belle avatar
    Belle

    Poor traveling kitty! I hope he escaped more frightened than injured…🤕 What with scrapping with Blue, Donnie, & others, It seems that Sa Maj is earning a reputation: Catorze, The Brentford Bruiser! As for the sofa, can the stains perhaps be hidden with a furniture marker pen or powder matching the color? It may still show but perhaps not as much.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      The Brentford Bruiser! 🤣🤣🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  6. cat9984 avatar

    Well, at least Louis’ feeling better. Fully recovered from his surgery.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      He deffo is!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. sevencatsandcounting avatar

    I’d say it is most likely Louis. In our house, it is much harder to identify the culprit. There is safety or plausible deniability in numbers.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      He still tries to feign innocence even though it can’t be anyone else but him! 🤣🤣🤣

      Liked by 2 people

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