Tag: cat
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Remember Boots and his wardrobe of Chelsea collars? Well, it’s been around four months since Sa Maj gifted six collars to his ami, and the big sod has already lost three of them. I know that not everyone thinks collars are a good idea for cats, but Boots really, really needs one. As well as…
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Merci à Dieu: it’s the summer holidays. I was looking forward to relaxing, but Louis Catorze has other ideas and has been absolutely wired, burning off about 3% of his excess energy on ICB and using the other 97% on us throughout the night. One night he was especially beastly, waking us countless times by…
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What is your favourite season of year? Why? It’s the summer solstice and, despite that we often refer to this time of year as Midsummer, it’s really the START of astrological (or maybe astronomical?) summer. I am firmly an autumn person, but Louis Catorze LOVES the summer – well, he is the Sun King, so…
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Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life. We’re finding them anything but simple, but Cat Daddy and I are enjoying our guitar lessons and, happily, there have been no further Code Brun incidents. We have lost all sensation in our left hands, but at least we are now 0.1% less…
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Who would you like to talk to soon? If you have a spare 729 hours, type “Fluent Pet Buttons” into YouTube. (Merci, Raven. This is all your fault.) If you are sensible and daren’t do this, don’t worry; reading this post will give you enough information whilst also saving you from the abyss. (I am…
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If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Similarly, if Orijen is placed in a cat’s bowl and he is not around to witness the serving, does the food even exist? Having given this question the lengthy consideration that it deserves, Louis Catorze says…
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Do you have any collections? Louis Catorze’s fur collects everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, whether animal, vegetable or mineral. Part of the appeal of black cats is that their fur supposedly doesn’t show up the dirt in the same way that white cats’ fur does, but Catorze’s coat attracts crud just as a magnet attracts…
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On Saturday, Cat Daddy and I went to a fancy dress party. We dressed as goths, mainly because we, erm, already had most of the clothes. As part of our costumes we painted our nails black, something to which Cat Daddy only agreed on the basis that I had the wherewithal to remove the nail…
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What gives you direction in life? Louis Catorze does. However, at the moment that direction seems to be “downwards”. I hardly ever see him these days. No more does he settle across my stomach and cuddle me until I fall asleep, no more is he the first person I see when I wake up, and…
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What’s a job you would like to do for just one day? I can’t say I would LIKE to do this. But, in some alternate universe, I’m pretty sure there was once a version of me who did the job of testing things before the king used them, to make sure they weren’t poisoned, booby-trapped…
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Great news: the beautician is back! She peered around cautiously as she entered Le Château, as one would if forced to enter an abandoned asylum where a chainsaw massacre had taken place. “Is Lewis around?” she asked. (Yes, she pronounces his name “Lewis”, but I don’t expect he will care about this at all. Plus…
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It is said to be bad luck when a black cat crosses your path. So what can it mean when one runs at you, screaming, and tries to trip you up as you retreat? This is what happened to the Conservative party candidate when he came canvassing today. And Cat Daddy is punch-proud that his…
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It had to happen sooner or later, Mesdames et Messieurs, and today is the day: Louis Catorze has pitter-pattered in smelling of man-perfume. And it’s not Cat Daddy’s, because he only wears man-perfume very rarely. LITTLE SOD HAS BEEN SNUGGLING ANOTHER MAN. Cat Daddy: “You mean he’s been snuggling at least one other man, as…
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