louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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Do you trust your instincts? Fight, Flight or Freeze. That’s what they say living creatures are programmed to do, isn’t it, when faced with danger? Sadly I don’t think Louis Catorze received the memo; the silly sod wouldn’t know danger if it kicked him up the arse. I have witnessed his Fight, Flight and Freeze…
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What’s the first impression you want to give people? Well, that rather depends on what cats want at the time. It might be food, or love. Or they might just want to gaslight their humans for fun. On our local neighbourhood Facebook page, people often post to announce that a starving stray cat has just…
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Despite not really minding fireworks all these years – in fact, he once moved up the stairs to get a better view through the hallway window – Louis Catorze took exception to the ones that he heard on 5th November. These days, our social media feeds fill up with firework precautionary advice from as early…
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Remember Boots and his Chelsea collars? The silly sod never seemed to hold onto them for very long, losing them all around the neighbourhood. He managed to get through around 9,963 of them before the Chelsea Megastore finally ran out. That said, I’m sure that, if someone had put Chelsea accessories on me, I’d have…
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What is good about having a pet? I was about to answer this by saying, “Having someone love you unconditionally”, but then I remembered that Louis Catorze couldn’t give a shit whether I live or die. So, erm, never mind. As you were. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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We all know that Louis Catorze uses either creepy staring or screaming when he wants to get his way. The creepy staring is usually deployed when he’s hungry. Despite being thicker than a concrete milkshake, Catorze knows perfectly well that, eventually, being stared at will make us feel so uncomfortable that we’ll end up dropping…
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It’s a horror film trope as old as time: a raging storm on Hallowe’en night, when any right-minded, God-fearing creature would be safely tucked up at home, with the doors locked. This means, of course, that going outside on such a night would be reserved for the following individuals: Can you see where I’m going…
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Hallowe’en is upon us, and the big question is: did I manage to achieve anything even faintly resembling a portrait of Louis Catorze? Well, yes. Furthermore, what’s unique about this year’s Official Hallowe’en Portrait is that, this time, it’s two sets: one is a standalone piece and the other, a pair. The single photo was…
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What’s something you believe everyone should know? I want everyone to know that our cuddly, purring little overlords are actually murderous psychopaths. However, I think the world is starting to catch onto this. I’ve been watching American Detective on Discovery Plus. One of the best things about it is the acerbic presenter who, when the…
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You have three magic genie wishes. What will you ask for? Quite frankly, I only have one wish right now: for Louis Catorze to produce a passable Official Hallowe’en Portrait. However, the chances of this happening are slim-to-zéro. Cat Daddy’s friend Mike has gifted us with six monster pumpkins from his allotment, some of which…
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Remember when Louis Catorze ditched his papa and decided that he liked me? Well, now he doesn’t. Our initial theory was that Cat Daddy spent much of the summer in shorts. Catorze is not a fan of bare skin against his person/feline so, now that the weather is cooling and Cat Daddy is back in…
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Whilst the Diwali festivities continued throughout Tuesday night, Louis Catorze decided to do some partying of his own. It wasn’t that long ago that we were saying “We hardly ever see other cats in the garden” so, naturellement, he felt compelled to prove us wrong by entertaining this gentleman caller: Cat Daddy spotted them on…
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I have just upgraded Le Blog to the Premium version of WordPress, after running out of space on the previous one. I have no idea what kind of features are available on this plan, but no doubt I will find out soon. When upgrading, I was asked to choose between a two-year and a three-year…
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