louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
-
Why do you blog? You know when you’re the victim of a covert, gaslighting bully, and your friends say, “Document every single incident”? Yeah. That.
-
How are you feeling right now? Ah, the joys of buying a new phone and seamlessly swapping all your shit over from the old one. Well, when I say “joys”, I mean the opposite. And when I say “seamlessly”, I mean the opposite of that, too. Anyone who has ever upgraded their phone will know…
-
When it comes to hunting, Louis Catorze commits to it for a few days, then does nothing for months. This is both good (it’s not a daily occurrence) and bad (just when we think he’s grown too old for it, we have the shock of another headless mouse with the blood drained from its body).…
-
Our Cat-Disliking Friend came for dinner again at the weekend. And, since he has just moved to the area permanently, I expect we will be seeing more of him. When I told him about Le Blog, and about the fact that refer to him as Cat-Disliking Friend, he revealed that he does actually like individual…
-
Merde, merde and thrice merde: it’s back. And I managed to make it a whole lot worse when I brushed Louis Catorze: Cat Daddy is cross with me for brushing him. But we can’t just stop doing it, since Catorze’s skin allergy issues are so much better when he’s regularly brushed. Plus I didn’t just…
-
What do you love about where you live? Louis Catorze, Cat Daddy and I live in Brentford TW8. We are just down the road from fancy Chiswick, W4, and just a hop across the river from fancy Kew, TW9, and fancy Richmond, KT2, so you’d be forgiven for thinking we were fancy too. We’re not.…
-
Last year Cat Daddy planted some tarragon in the garden, and it didn’t go well. Look here and here if you want to know the reason why, although I expect you can guess. Not wishing to go through the same pain this year, Cat Daddy just let low-risk, plain grass grow in what used to…
-
Following BinBagGate last week, I have two questions: 1. How? 2. Why? The first of these is relatively easy to answer: we suspect that Louis Catorze actually tried to get into the bin bag – I KNOW – and, in thrashing around inside, somehow rolled it across the floor and tipped it over. The thought…
-
What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time? Obviously cats aren’t burdened with having to remember their keys, phone and debit card every time they leave the house. They just go, knowing that they can come back and let themselves in whenever they want, in some cases having access via…
-
Cats: do you ever worry that your behaviour isn’t bad enough? Do your humans think you are a Good Boy/Girl? If so, here are Louis Catorze’s top tips for remedying this state of affairs: 1. Drag filled-to-capacity bin bag across hallway. 2. Tip bin bag over. 3. Allow bin bag to leak bin juice and…
-
Ever since MouseGate last week, eerie things have been afoot at Le Château. Louis Catorze’s eating habits, which always shift a little during CST to account for the increased daylight hours, have gone completely haywire. In the mornings he still wakes me as if wanting food but, when we come downstairs and I plate up,…
-
We have just had builders in, fortifying the battlements at Le Château. As you know, Louis Catorze LOVES tradesmen – builders, gardeners, locksmiths, anyone, really – and one of his favourite things to do is annoy them and make their work last for longer. On the morning that the builders arrived he was in especially…
-
Cat Daddy came home from his weekend away on Monday morning. Upon his return, Louis Catorze completely failed to acknowledge him, choosing, instead, to sleep on my lap. This kind of behaviour is utterly out of character for him. And there was no full moon, no Mercury Retrograde, no thinning of the veil, no Lucifer…
-
Scour the news for a story. Consider how it connects to your life. Write about that. (The original brief was for an “entirely uninteresting” story, but I ignored that bit.) It was International Cat Day yesterday. We didn’t bother telling Louis Catorze because he already thinks every day is all about him, so it wouldn’t…
louiscatorze.com 