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Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, supreme ruler of Le Château, sworn enemy of canine foe and scourge of Ocado delivery drivers.

Month: Dec 2025

  • Pour retrouver sa jeunesse, il suffit d’en répéter les folies

    This dark time of year is traditionally associated with rest and quiet introspection. However, for Louis Catorze, it’s time to play. Unfortunately, Cat Daddy and I don’t want to play, New Year or not, especially since one of us has just had the flu and the other is still dealing with a long-standing knee/hip/lower back…

  • Les jours de Twixmas

    Whilst it wasn’t the worst Christmas in living memory, it wasn’t the best, either. I still have the dregs of the flu that has been plaguing me for a week, and on Christmas morning Cat Daddy started to feel under the weather, too. Cooking Christmas dinner felt like all twelve labours of Hercules at once,…

  • Il y a de la place dans l’auberge

    As some wise person once said, “At Christmas time, to your enemy, give forgiveness; to your opponent, tolerance; and to cats, whatever the heck they want.” (At least I think it was something like that.) At this time of year we are taught to help others in need, especially those who turn up at our…

  • Le dieu de l’âge de pierre

    Every year, thousands of people gather at Stonehenge in Wiltshire for sunrise on the shortest day of the year.  This year, a very special guest joined them:  Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs, one of the revellers brought their cat with them. Or maybe it just randomly turned up. Both options are hilarious, although the latter would…

  • Le portrait ressemble au modèle 

    I managed to capture an uncharacteristically wistful Louis Catorze for his Official Yuletide* Portrait, which is very appropriate as the winter solstice is a time for calm reflection. It’s not often that we experience this feeling here at La Château, so we will gladly accept it despite it being highly misleading: *I had originally called…

  • Une soirée de belle mémoires

    Writing about our departed pets on the winter solstice wasn’t something I’d planned to do regularly. However, last year a friend contacted me to ask if I’d be doing it again, having done it the previous year, because she would like me to feature her cat. So now, it seems, it has become a permanent…

  • Le cadre est la plus belle chose dans une image 

    What skills or lessons have you learned recently? My very clever and creative sister has made some decorations for the Christmas tree in her local church. The brief was “chorister” and I’m sure you will agree that she’s nailed it: She has always been good at crafting. However, displaying her work for photography is a…

  • Mon beau sapin, roi des forêts

    We have just taken delivery of our tree. When we received it last year, the delivery gentleman turned out to be a Cat Man, much to Louis Catorze’s delight. This time it was a different gentleman but he was just as much a Cat Man as the previous one.  Delivery Gentleman: “Whereabouts would you like…

  • Le véritable esprit de Noël réside dans votre carte de crédit

    Louis Catorze has just been for his Yuletide steroid jab.  The little sod was starting to scratch and his fur was thinning around the eyes, so we knew that it was almost time. He would probably have lasted another week or two before things turned desperate. However, we wanted to avoid the festive frenzy when…

  • L’admiration rend l’admirateur stupide

    What do others do that sparks your admiration? I don’t know if “admiration” is the right word. In fact, I even know what the right word ought to be. Is there a single word for “Gotta hand it to them for trying that stupid shit and getting away with it”?  I’m talking about cats, of…

  • Blue Monday*

    Bastard cats. If it’s not yours being a massive shite, it’s someone else’s. There’s absolutely no respite from it.  Blue the Smoke Bengal went missing the other day. He went out in the morning and then didn’t come home, which is unusual for him. His mamma was, understandably, very concerned, especially as calling, shaking his…

  • La fin d’une mauvaise année 

    What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year? To be honest, 2025 has been a bit of a shit circus for me and Cat Daddy, and we can’t wait to kick its sorry arse out of the door and welcome in 2026.  Although my surgeries were a year ago, the…

  • Le club des petits-déjeuners

    After showing zero concern for human food for all these years, Louis Catorze has decided that he’s now interested. He doesn’t usually eat any of the food (apart from that one fateful time which had huge repercussions for months afterwards); he just licks it and walks away. However, this makes it more annoying because then…

  • Crains les méchants, et ne blesse pas les bons

    Cat Daddy is away in New York at the moment, so it’s just me and Louis Catorze at Le Château. And the bullshittery started on the very first day of Cat Daddy’s absence, with Catorze thumping around late at night, sounding just like an adult human, then either being invisible or sitting eerily still when…