louiscatorze.com

Je crie, donc je suis

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Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, supreme ruler of Le Château, sworn enemy of canine foe and scourge of Ocado delivery drivers.

Month: Mar 2025

  • Hurle, sers, mange, répète (Partie 4)

    Louis Catorze hasn’t been eating much lately. In fact, after initially leaping onto his wet food and devouring it like a starving savage, he’s now only moderately keen when I dish up. He’s the same with his Orijen too: he’ll tuck in eventually, but there’s a definite reluctance.  One morning, he lapped up a couple…

  • We will rock you

    What makes you laugh? A lot of things, most days. Today, however, it’s Louis Catorze purring so hard that it makes his whole body rock back and forth: For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com

  • Un anneau pour les gouverner tous

    Cat Daddy has treated me to one of those Oura fitness tracker rings. As well as monitoring all sorts of things such as sleep and heart rate, it also looks unbelievably cool.  Setting up these electronic devices is always easy when it works, less easy when it doesn’t, and downright bloody impossible when you have…

  • On peut utiliser la technologie pour le meilleur ou le pire

    How has technology changed your job? Well, there was never any of this kind of shit before the internet, that’s for sure: For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com

  • La boîte de Pandore 

    Cat Daddy and I really enjoy shopping at the plastic-free bulk foods shop in Chiswick. There’s not much there for Louis Catorze on account of, erm, most of their stock being vegan and him not, but it’s a great place for treats for ourselves. But we love the shop even more after this little card…

  • La joie du printemps

    *WARNING: IF YOU ARE IN ANY WAY WEAK-STOMACHED, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.* The day after the Spring Equinox, Cat Daddy, Louis Catorze and I went outside to survey the grounds of Le Château. Our garden can be something of a cabinet of curiosities, with random things growing that we can’t identify and that we…

  • Quand vous devenez pessimiste, regardez une rose

    What do you wish you could do more every day? It’s not a wish anymore because I actually do it, although not quite every day. Stop wishing, if that’s what you’re doing, and actually do it. Life’s too short. Cat Daddy and I have started treating ourselves to fresh flowers once a month. It feels…

  • On perd son temps à cultiver les mots

    What one word describes you? Several words come to mind. None are repeatable in polite company.  For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com

  • Être dans la nature

    Louis Catorze’s summer mode has been officially activated.  It’s not summer yet. In fact, it’s not even spring. But the fact that it’s the wrong time has never stopped him from doing what he wants. A few rays of sunshine and he’s out … which makes it all the more insulting that he should run…

  • Aie confiance en toi-même, et tu sauras vivre

    Who is the most confident person you know? You all know the answer to this: it’s Louis Catorze. He struts his way through life assuming that everyone loves him. Not everyone DOES love him. But he couldn’t give the square root of a shit. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com

  • Tout ce dont j’ai besoin est l’air que je respire

    In what activities do you lose yourself? (Sorry, I couldn’t bear to end the sentence on a preposition, so I had to change the prompt.) Screaming. It’s by far Louis Catorze’s favourite thing in the world to do. And, sometimes, he screams himself into such a frenzy that there’s no air left in him. I…

  • La couverture lestée (Partie 2) 

    Louis Catorze has just discovered the joy of attacking me through the weighted blanket. And, despite the blanket being quite robust, I can feel the his claws through it and they HURT.  He doesn’t do this to the blanket when it’s lying folded up, only when it’s on me. Which seems to disprove my original…

  • Parler de taureaux, ce n’est pas comme être dans l’arène

    Have you ever heard it said that, sometimes, if you fight back against bullies, their behaviour becomes worse? Cat Daddy and I have just been to València* for a friend’s wedding, and we left Louis Catorze** in the care of Daughter Next Door.  *The fighting back. **The bully. We didn’t tell Catorze of our plans,…

  • L’éclat éternel de l’esprit immaculé

    What was the last thing you learned? I wish it were possible to unsee and/or unremember displeasing facts. Very little displeases me more than explicit talk of rear ends and bowel movements, but I’m sharing this information because most of my friends pick crud out of their cats’ eyes with their bare hands*. So they…