louiscatorze.com

Je crie, donc je suis

Month: Feb 2025

  • You have probably seen a cat yawn-meow, even though you are unlikely to have filmed it. But how about a yawn-chatter?  Yes, that’s right, a yawn-chatter. It’s when a cat’s bird-chatter utterance morphs into a yawn.  No? Well, I may be able to help you out there. When I was searching my phone for something…

  • The Yodel delivery driver just dropped off a box of Orijen. He also dropped off Louis Catorze, who was out at The Front causing havoc. We had absolutely no idea that he’d escaped. Cat Daddy, who had answered the door: “The driver said Louis was screaming outside.” Me: “He didn’t actually say the word “screaming”,…

  • The pitiful wailing in the video below was actually AFTER Louis Catorze had had a few minutes to calm down. When we first stuffed him into his transportation pod, his guttural screams were absolutely infernal, the kind that usually require an exorcist. Can you guess where we were going?  Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: it was…

  • What advice would you give to your teenage self? Since Louis Catorze is a teenager right now (in human years, anyway), his advice to himself remains current, and is: “Keep them guessing.” The little sod adheres rigidly to this motto, every single day; Cat Daddy and I are perpetually left wondering what the hell. (That…

  • When British people say, “The weather is getting warmer”, what they probably mean is that it’s 0.01°C less cold than it was yesterday. This time, however, Louis Catorze can feel it. And the little sod has been outside for hours.  Catorze absolutely LOVES being outside, and his favourite spot is his plinth underneath the outdoor…

  • Who are your favourite people to be around? Louis Catorze loves men. Family members, friends, tradesmen, random passers-by in the street, whoever. He’s not fussy; any man will do. We have no idea how a cat can know what a man is and what a woman is, but he does. And, whenever we have company,…

  • One of my lovely friends sent me a weighted blanket as a recovery present. (The one and only good thing about recovering from surgery is that people send you some really good stuff.) If you’ve never heard of one of these before, it’s exactly as it sounds: a blanket that’s heavier than it looks, due…

  • What’s your favourite sweet? Remember cats and jigsaw puzzles? Remember cats and Lego? Well, look at what we have here: a little Roi having a nap on a paper bag. Nothing to see here, right?  Except that in that paper bag is Cat Daddy’s stash of chocolate honeycomb bites from the worthy, plastic-free bulk foods…

  • Last week I went for an acupuncture session, to help me recover from the after-effects of my surgeries. Through complete coincidence, it turns out that the acupuncturist lives in our street. This kind of thing happens a lot in our town.  After my treatment, the acupuncturist messaged me to remind me to keep warm afterwards.…

  • Every night, Louis Catorze comes to join me for a session with the red lamp. We both lie in bed together, watching its colours dance across the walls and ceiling, before falling asleep.  I can’t prove this, but somehow I feel that the magical powers of the red lamp help me to fall asleep more…

  • Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time? No. None whatsoever.  Every time I start to think Louis Catorze is too old for one of his usual pastimes – catching mice, ambushing Ocado delivery drivers, picking fights with the local wildlife, that kind of thing – he proves me…

  • My 6:45am alarm didn’t go off on Wednesday. Luckily I was realised that something was amiss when I heard my phone buzzing with text notifications, which are only set to come after 7am. When I checked through my schedule to find out what had gone wrong, I saw that my alarm was set for three…

  • And in today’s episode of Unidentified Crud Found On My Cat, we have … well, what exactly DO we have? Nobody knows. Nor does anyone really want to get close enough to find out.  Louis Catorze came in from outside looking like this: We think the offending substance could be any one of the following: …

  • Remember cats and jigsaw puzzles? If there had to be one cat to take the concept even further, of course it would be Louis Catorze’s cat-cousin Rodan. Imagine a naughtier version of Catorze, with youth on his side and the benefit of a sidekick (his sister Mothra) to egg him on. Yes, exactly.  Here is…