louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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about
Month: Nov 2024
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Thank you to everyone who has sent me good wishes. I came home from hospital yesterday morning, which was quite a bit sooner than the three to five days usually anticipated. For all those people who said, “Louis Catorze will be so pleased to have you home”, look at this video: I told you, didn’t…
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I’m in hospital at the moment, having just had intense but standard (and planned) surgery. However, because they had to switch last-minute from The Simple Version to The Complicated Version of this particular procedure, I’m here for an extra night. Cat Daddy has been in to visit me. However, Louis Catorze hasn’t even noticed that…
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Cat Daddy took Louis Catorze for his booster vaccination at the weekend. And, when they weighed him, we discovered that he had dipped below the 3kg mark for the first time in his life. Catorze now tips the scales at a lighter-than-air 2.94kg and, for whatever reason, this has made me a little sad. The…
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Name your top three pet peeves. Will seven peeves do? With this many cats all creating havoc, there’s no way I’d be able to narrow it down to just three. Mercury Retrograde starts today. So, far from cats’ bull- and/or apeshittery calming down after last Friday’s full moon, it’s actually likely to get worse. This…
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I have decided to name the cacophonous composition below, “Hake in the Air Fryer”. However, having named it, I can’t decide whether its ought to be a classical piece or a rock anthem. If you watch the video, you will see that its different movements are very distinct, like Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (except that Louis…
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Oh. Mon. Dieu. Cat Daddy has just given Louis Catorze the leftover skin and fatty bits from our Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon. The little sod is absolutely gorging himself senseless, like I’ve never seen him eat before. Obviously we weren’t going to eat those bits ourselves, so I’m glad they weren’t just thrown away. But, the…
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Do you trust your instincts? I run a paranormal club at school, and the kids who attend certainly trust their instincts. They’re nobody’s fools. Once a year, we play a game called Chocolate Fortune Telling. We ask a question which can be answered with a yes or a no, then draw a Lindor chocolate out…
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Cat Daddy and I escaped to the south coast on Saturday, leaving Louis Catorze in the care of Family Next Door, and I am writing this in the car on the way home. We had hoped for a bit of a break from feline bullshittery. We didn’t get one. The horror unfolded in our bedroom…
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What book are you reading right now? One of my friends gave me the this Classic Tales of Horror anthology for my birthday. Every non-work morning – because some of the stories are too long to read in the short time I have before going to work, and I couldn’t cope with the suspense of…
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Louis Catorze’s new favourite place is atop the trellis which would have held our honeysuckle plant, had it decided to actually grow properly. Bizarrely, Blue the Smoke Bengal has also recently decided that it’s his new favourite place. However, rather than surveying his kingdom, which is what Catorze does when he sits here, Blue is…
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Fair play to the good people of Felpreva, who replied very promptly to my email about Louis Catorze’s discoloured fur. These are the points that they made: Following application of any topical spot-on treatment, there is sometimes a powdery white residual left behind; although this is normally brushed away or wiped away with a damp…
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SAINT JÉSUS ET TOUS SES ANGES: Louis Catorze has just chugged down my matcha latte. And I don’t mean he licked a bit; I mean he had a good, long drink, like a parched desert horse who hadn’t seen water for a week. I heard the slurping noises but, because it was dark and I…
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I’m not complaining about the fact that I only have to give Louis Catorze his spot-on once every three months. Really, I’m not. But what a shame it seems to be bleaching/staining (we’re not sure which) his once-black fur. We fully expect the texture of the fur to change temporarily after application. We even expect…
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Louis Catorze has survived Diwaliween / Bonfire Night / Firework Week / whatever you call a fireworky time when it’s meant to be short but ends up going on for ages. There have been further firework disturbances in and around TW8 since the night of the 31st but, since they were the tolerable bangy kind…
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