Louis Catorze’s cat-cousins, Otis and Roux, have been having the time of their lives in the great outdoors.
Otis recently caught his first mouse – or, rather, the first mouse of which we are aware. He brought it upstairs, chased it around whilst his parents slept, then took it back downstairs again. There, he waited patiently, holding the still-alive mouse in his mouth, until someone followed him, rescued the poor mouse from the jaws of death and set it free in the garden.
My sister: “I don’t understand. The previous owners said that the cats didn’t hunt.”
Me: “I feel your pain. I was also sold a non-hunter with Catorze, and what a joke that’s turned out to be.”
Her: “Do you think this will get worse?”
Me: “Well, if they’re managing to find mice in the depths of winter, spring and summer will be a veritable gold rush.”
Her: “…”
Me: “Not to mention the fact that Otis and Roux are barely even three …”
Her: “…”
Me: “So you have many, many years of mouse mayhem ahead of you.”
Her: “…”
Having successfully ensured that my sister would never sleep again, I breathed a sigh of relief that my own ageing cat will soon be hanging up his hunting gear and settling for a nice, easy life doing nothing.
Oh, wait …
Whilst at work last week, I received the following message from Cat Daddy:
“A present from him. He walked right past me with it. Dumped it on the floor in its death throes. Then licked the blood.”
The message was accompanied by a highly disturbing video of Catorze, with rodent, utterly unrepentant. Don’t worry, I won’t be posting the full video here, but here’s a still taken from it, showing the little sod, smoking gun in hand:
Why is he doing this? HOW is he doing this?
Is he being so weird with his food because boring, dry biscuits just don’t compare to warm, pulsing rodent flesh?
And what’s with the licking? Saint Jésus, THE LICKING?
louiscatorze.com 
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