What is your favorite hobby or pastime?
I love watching horror films. I have just watched one called Crawl, which is all about a girl and her dad who end up trapped in the crocodile-infested, rapidly-flooding crawl space under their house during a storm. It’s pretty silly – the girl is a competitive swimmer (believable) who can outswim crocodiles (considerably less believable), but then I have never watched horror films for their accurate depiction of real life, so I don’t really care.
The true hero of the film is a dog called Sugar. I only know about four dog breeds and she isn’t one of them, but she was, erm, medium-sized and black, possibly with some white bits, if that’s any help?
Anyway, Sugar does exactly what she is supposed to do, when she is supposed to do it. On two occasions, her barking draws the attention of the rescuer to the exact location of the rescuee. And yet, when she is required NOT to draw attention to herself, for example when they are wading silently through the water, aware that the slightest sound or splash would alert the crocodiles, Sugar is perfectly quiet and doesn’t move a muscle.
Dogs in horror films can generally be relied upon to do the right thing. Cats, however, are another matter entirely.
This is how I imagine a Catorzian horror panning out:
1. Cat Daddy and I are trapped in a crawl space under the house, which is rapidly filling with water and crocodiles. Catorze ignores our cries for help and lets us scream ourselves unconscious.
2. Rescuer arrives. Catorze does not react.
3. Catorze sees that rescuer is male and switches to purring, rolling and flirting mode(s).
4. Catorze realises that the end of Cat Daddy would also spell the end of Boys’ Club, so he informs the rescuer of Cat Daddy’s plight. Cat Daddy is rescued.
5. Water rises. Rescuer asks if anyone else may be trapped below. Catorze says “Non”.
6. Cat Daddy regains consciousness, flees the scene and lives happily ever after with Catorze.
7. The End.
If you would like to watch Crawl, it’s on Netflix.
And, if you would like to witness true horror, please come and visit Sa Maj.
louiscatorze.com 
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