What skill would you like to learn?
I have recently joined a Smart phone photography social media group. People post their original shots versus the edited versions, and everyone compares the two and tells them whether they’ve gone a bit overboard or got the balance right.
People mainly post landscapes and human portraits in the group, but recently there have been more and more cats. There was even one cat pictured DURING A VET VISIT, who sat perfectly still and whose photo was blade-sharp and blur-free.
I am always impressed by people’s editing skills, but I’m more amazed that they can get their little sods to sit still. I can’t.
Every so often I post saying, “This is what I managed with Louis Catorze”, accompanied by a picture of an indistinct black haze or a glimpse of his arse end walking away. This makes me the funniest person in the group but also by far the worst photographer
The fact that my Catorzian photography hasn’t improved in nine years, and the fact that not even a Smart phone photography group can help me, don’t bode well considering that it’s October and I still haven’t managed an Official Hallowe’en Portrait.
I have the perfect props: some giant home-grown pumpkins gifted by Cat Daddy’s friend Mike. And I have the perfect subject matter: a black cat with vampire teeth. But it’s not working. Each picture is more shit than the last, because the subject matter either doesn’t want to play or just wants to annoy me (or possibly a bit of each).
My only hope is that, since Catorze behaves for other people, one of his many October visitors will manage to take a good picture. But at least his weird bald patch is disappearing back to whichever strange dimension from which it came. So that’s something. (I’m reaching for any positive that I can find, to be honest.)
Me: “Will we EVER get a decent Official Hallowe’en Portrait from him?”
Cat Daddy, without looking up from his phone: “When the sun freezes over, maybe?”
louiscatorze.com 
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