How are you feeling right now?
Ah, the joys of buying a new phone and seamlessly swapping all your shit over from the old one.
Well, when I say “joys”, I mean the opposite. And when I say “seamlessly”, I mean the opposite of that, too. Anyone who has ever upgraded their phone will know exactly how I feel right now.
For whatever reason, the magical transfer method where you hold one phone above the other and the fizzy mist takes care of everything*, didn’t work. So I had to do it all manually. And, after a few skirmishes and having to reset every single password I have ever had, the only thing from which I remained firmly barred was Le Blog.
*I’m not making this up. The data-transferring fizzy mist is an actual thing. IT’S INCREDIBLE.
Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs, you have read that correctly: I successfully managed to access the scammers’ delights that are my bank account and my PayPal, but Le Blog was not happy with me for attempting to log on using a new device.
(Oh, and I couldn’t phone anyone, either, nor could anyone phone me, but I didn’t really care about that. I’m one of those people who will watch the phone ring in my hand, then WhatsApp the person to say, “What do you want?”)
This prompted me to wonder what people might think if they didn’t hear Louis Catorze’s antics for a while? The most logical conclusion, of course, would be that the little sod had killed and eaten me, but how much time would elapse before you started to worry?
In the likely event of me still being alive when he started to eat me from the feet up, and the somewhat less likely event of me being able to send out a brief SOS on another social media platform before he managed to chew off my texting fingers, would this trigger the required emergency response? Or is this kind of thing just standard Catorze?
Eventually, through an arduous process with labyrinthine twists and turns too complicated to mention, I was able to successfully gain entry to the Promised Land of WordPress or JetPack or whatever it is. And it has since dawned on me that, if I wanted to signal for help, I would have to post something like, “I’m so lucky to have such an impeccably-behaved cat who always does as he’s told.” If people read those words, they would know that the end of the world was nigh.
Well, either that, or they’d think I had a new cat.
louiscatorze.com 
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