Who is your favourite historical figure?
It won’t be a surprise to learn that it’s Louis XIV, the Sun King.
On the other hand, what may be surprising is the number of common points that Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, shares with his human counterpart:
1. Becoming king at the age of four: coincidentally, this was also Catorze’s age when he stormed Le Château and seized the crown in July 2014.
2. Believing that the universe revolves around him: well, naturellement.
3. Overseeing the administrative and financial organisation of his realm: see previous point.
4. Being of diminutive stature: both the human and the feline Sun Kings were/are teeny-tiny.
5. Enjoying a string of military victories: although point 4 might suggest otherwise, our little Roi has never shied away from a fight. Nor has he ever lost one, despite facing much larger and more numerous adversaries.
6. Annexing key territories: Le Château, The Front, the Zone Occupée and the Zone Libre (both of which form The Back) are all part of the wider Catorzian empire.
7. Being a keen linguist: our Roi is fluent in English, French, cat, bird, fox and squirrel (although we’re pretty sure he only knows swear words in the last four).
Catorze does, however, have two distinct differences from Louis XIV:
1. Believing himself to be God’s representative on earth: trust me, whatever force birthed him is/was about as ungodly as can possibly be. If he’s not the devil himself, he is certainly the WORK of the devil … and he knows it.
2. A liking for the ladies: erm … non.
Although Catorze struts around loving himself on a daily basis, naturellement when I really, really wanted a picture of him doing so, he wouldn’t comply. So here, below, are my two favourite old photos of him which paint an accurate picture of his kingly arrogance.
The first is from 2017 and, contrary to first impressions, no digi-trickery is involved. I really did lay out an enormous French flag, borrowed from my classroom, and plonk Catorze on top of it. And I happened to get lucky with this shot, open mouth and all:
In the second photo, from February this year, he was probably looking towards the sound of a squirrel scrabbling around outside the window, but I like to pretend he was basking in the glow of his own majesty:
The proverb “A cat may look at a king” suggests that cats are lower in status. I think all cats know that this is nonsense.
louiscatorze.com 
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