What’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten?
*WARNING: CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF MURDER AND DEATH*
I would love to be able to answer this question with “Jambon de Bayonne” or “organic aged Comté from the local cheese deli”, giving the message that Louis Catorze is a cultured gentleman with a sophisticated palate. However, these days it’s more like, erm, mouse heads and blood.
I know.
When we first noticed that Catorze’s kills appeared to be sans tête, both Cat Daddy and I hoped that the heads had just become detached during battle. Obviously the thought of finding them in some unexpected place wasn’t very pleasant, but it seemed fractionally less awful than the thought of our boy biting them off and eating them.
However, when the little sod caught his last mouse, Cat Daddy witnessed him start to tuck into the head AND lick up the blood. Oh. Mon. Dieu.
Before you say, “But it’s their natural instinct”, I know this. What I can’t reconcile in my head is how cats can be so sweet and affectionate, yet transform themselves into killing machines in an instant. They’re such two-faced shites.
I also fail to understand how Catorze can happily munch mouse heads, with teeth and skulls and everything, yet refuse a piece of fillet steak if it’s too chewy, or if it’s medium rather than medium-rare.
Having just read a book in which the zombie virus is spread by the cute, friendly doggie who chews on infected corpses and then goes around licking people’s faces, I now don’t want Catorze on my bed. In fact, I don’t even want him living in my house. But at least he’s someone else’s problem right now, headless mice and all.
And anyway, how does one overthrow an established monarchy? (I’m not joking: we Brits want to know.)
louiscatorze.com 
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