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Je crie, donc je suis

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Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, supreme ruler of Le Château, sworn enemy of canine foe and scourge of Ocado delivery drivers.

Month: Nov 2016

  • Le samedi soir est bien pour se battre

    Louis Catorze has decided that one nemesis isn’t enough and so, now, he has a second. In addition to his well-documented war on Oscar the dog next door, relations with Kiki the bichon frisé* have somehow gone from non-existent to merde totale. Kiki lives several doors down the street from us and Louis Catorze wouldn’t…

  • Le piège à souris

    Another day, another darned mouse, this time delivered to our bedroom, undead and twitching. But, fortunately for me, by the time I had gone to fetch a plastic bag and come back again, Le Bon Dieu had had the grace to take its poor soul to mouse heaven. Because we had to dash straight out…

  • Le chat vit pour manger

    Someone appears to have stolen Louis Catorze – quite why anyone would do this is beyond me – and replaced him with a similar-looking changeling cat who actually likes food. For the first time EVER, this morning he pulled the Second Breakfast trick on Cat Daddy, who fell for it completely. When I got home…

  • La lune est le rêve du Roi Soleil

    Please, someone, save us from this psycho nutjob. (No, not the new President Elect, but Le Roi.) For the past few days he has been screaming, racing around the house, attacking us as we sleep and generally driving us round the bend. I can only assume this is due to the approaching full moon, because…

  • Rendre l’Amérique à nouveau grande

    On this historic day, Louis Catorze is thinking of his American subjects. (Don’t ask me how but, yes, it is possible to be a U.S. citizen and also the subject of a French feline king.) However, having studied the credentials of the two presidential candidates, he cannot help but find them lacking in certain areas,…

  • Le sixième sens

    I am delighted to report that Louis Catorze only escaped once on Halloween night, and that we all survived (apart from the large mouse that he brought in and terrorised the next day). But, although it’s all over for another year, the scares continue in the form of his creepy kitty sixth sense, disproving our…