louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Tag: food
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What’s your favourite sweet? Remember cats and jigsaw puzzles? Remember cats and Lego? Well, look at what we have here: a little Roi having a nap on a paper bag. Nothing to see here, right? Except that in that paper bag is Cat Daddy’s stash of chocolate honeycomb bites from the worthy, plastic-free bulk foods…
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Remember when Louis Catorze wouldn’t eat a piece of fish unless it was mushed up into an insipid paste? Curiously, this seems to be a selective affliction only affecting cat food. If said piece of fish happens to be hot-smoked salmon skin, for instance, he’s fine. I know. Imagine that! We caught him out the…
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After learning about some of the gross things that are in tap water – if you don’t know, trust me, you’re better off not knowing – I decided to treat myself to an eco water filter. It’s eco because, instead of throwing away a plastic filter cartridge every few weeks, you open the cartridge, empty…
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We have all eaten well at Le Château over the last few days. Cat Daddy and I enjoyed our Christmas dinner, albeit a day late because I was sick on the 25th. The squirrels of TW8 have been feasting on some very old hazelnuts from the year before last, still in their shells, which Cat…
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*WARNING: CONTAINS TALK OF BLOOD.* Merde: I have cut my thumb on a can of Louis Catorze’s wet food. You won’t be surprised to hear that this was because he was screaming and screaming at me as I struggled to open it and, in my fluster, my hand slipped. If you’ve watched any action films,…
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It’s almost a year since The Great Salmon Grab, and I’m still being screamed at every time I prepare fish. Cat Daddy: “You know why it’s happening. You left salmon out for him.” That’s not what happened, but ok. Cats can, apparently, lose their sense of smell as they grow older. Since Louis Catorze is…
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Part 20. Oh. Mon. Dieu. What triggers Louis Catorze more than a room with Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon in it? A room WITHOUT Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon in it, it seems. Now that our mealtimes have been irreparably ruined, we are forced to shut ourselves away if we want to eat fish. Catorze screams and batters at…
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What are your feelings about eating meat? Meat? Meh (although Louis Catorze is partial to a bit of jambon de Bayonne). Fish? OH MON DIEU. This ear-bleeding din (below) was just a small part of what happened when I accidentally dropped a piece of tuna on the floor. I actually missed the loudest and most…
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I have decided to name the cacophonous composition below, “Hake in the Air Fryer”. However, having named it, I can’t decide whether its ought to be a classical piece or a rock anthem. If you watch the video, you will see that its different movements are very distinct, like Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (except that Louis…
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Oh. Mon. Dieu. Cat Daddy has just given Louis Catorze the leftover skin and fatty bits from our Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon. The little sod is absolutely gorging himself senseless, like I’ve never seen him eat before. Obviously we weren’t going to eat those bits ourselves, so I’m glad they weren’t just thrown away. But, the…
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SAINT JÉSUS ET TOUS SES ANGES: Louis Catorze has just chugged down my matcha latte. And I don’t mean he licked a bit; I mean he had a good, long drink, like a parched desert horse who hadn’t seen water for a week. I heard the slurping noises but, because it was dark and I…
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It’s half term. And, whereas most cats wake you up on weekends/holidays at the same time that they would wake you during a working week, mine decided, on the first day of my break, to wake me FORTY-FIVE MINUTES earlier than my usual weekday alarm. What an absolute bastard. By the way, this was before…
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What food would you say is your speciality? All of it. Just give Louis Catorze all the food. I dropped my phone into my breakfast the other day, sending yogurt flying in all directions. Because I was too lazy to clean it all up myself, I picked Catorze up and plonked him onto the table,…
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I have a subscription for Louis Catorze’s Orijen, and I imagined that this would be pretty foolproof in terms of never running out. The next delivery arrives well before the previous lot has run out, and that’s how it works, non? Ahem. Pets Corner emailed to tell me that there were stock issues, but stupidly…
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