louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Tag: cats
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Have you heard that saying: “You’re only ever one mouse click away from cats and their bullshittery”? Meet Pumpkin: In a truly exploitative fashion that only a cat could get away with, Pumpkin conned her way into someone’s house (including a break-and-enter through an upper floor window at 3am, scaring the merde out of the…
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How would you describe yourself to someone? Louis Catorze would probably describe himself as a very fine cat indeed. However, we know that this is a lie. It’s 17:05 on Sunday, and Cat Daddy and I returned home from our holiday almost an hour ago. Louis Catorze was in his favourite place, atop the back…
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What’s the story behind your nickname? Anyone with the name “Butthole” surely has some explaining to do? Even more so, if this were a real name and not a nickname? Now, please hear me out. Cat Daddy and I are lucky enough to have a whisky distillery just a few minutes’ walk from our holiday…
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I usually go to bed early and wake up early, whereas Cat Daddy is late to bed and late to rise. And, during our holiday, we have kept to these patterns; I am the lark and he is the nightingale, with our respective time zones about three hours apart. When Cat Daddy was having his…
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After a dog interlude and a seagull interlude, it’s time for Le Blog to return to cats. But not Louis Catorze – at least, not just yet. This time it’s Mittens, a famous Stornoway cat who, sadly, is no longer with us, but she remains very firmly rooted in local residents’ hearts and minds. Mittens…
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The Outer Hebrides really are just like heaven. In fact, if, indeed, heaven exists, rather than clouds and pearly gates and angels playing harps, we imagine it to be the same as one’s regular life but without the shit bits, just like in that book The Lovely Bones. If we were in heaven we would…
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Rodan and Mothra have a new cat bed. That is all. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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Dogs or cats? If you have ever so much as glanced at one of my blog posts, you will know the answer to this. However, since we are holidaying in a place where everyone is obsessed with dogs, I am giving the canine contingent a shout-out, just this once. From tomorrow, I’ll be back on…
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What bothers you and why? Cat Daddy and I are holidaying in the Outer Hebrides, and Louis Catorze is someone else’s problem now in the care of his chat-sitteur. However, despite our distance, it seems we have not been able to wholly escape the little sod. We saw this picture in a restaurant in Stornoway:…
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What time do you go to bed and wake up currently? Since it’s Catorzian Summer Time, Louis Catorze sleeps all day and parties all night. Nobody knows exactly what time he goes to bed or wakes up, because our body clocks are so at odds with his. One night last week, I was woken at…
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We have had a Code Bleu emergency: Cat Daddy used all the ice for cocktails, leaving none for our holiday chat-sitteur to use on Louis Catorze. Neither Sainsbury’s nor the organic shop had any ice when we looked. However, merci à Dieu for the mighty saviour that is Lidl: (Incidentally, we only buy ice from…
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It’s the school holidays! And look at the tote bag that Willow the miniature dachshund’s human brother gave me, as part of his “Merci et au revoir” present: Cat Daddy and I are preparing to leave at the end of the week for our annual trip to the Scottish Highlands. So, naturellement, Louis Catorze has…
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Louis Catorze’s blood test results are in. His thyroid reading is now at a healthy level, which means that his medication is at the right dosage for him. However, his kidney reading is slightly elevated, most likely due to the thyroid medication “unmasking” a previously-hidden kidney condition (that same one that seems to come for…
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How do you express your gratitude? Louis Catorze thinks it’s everyone else who ought to be grateful for knowing him. But merci for asking. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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