Tag: cats
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Cat Daddy and I are still having a magnificent time in this beautiful place, but I miss cats. And, yes, we have mooted the idea of bringing Louis Catorze with us the next time. Me: “But what about the journey up here? All that screaming?” Cat Daddy: “Maybe we could send him separately by DHL?…
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Someone has advertised their professional cleaning services on our local neighbourhood forum, including before and after shots of what they’ve been able to achieve. I stopped scrolling after a few because some of the “before” shots were truly stomach-churning. One of the less awful ones showed a carpet covered in mud, with a cat sitting…
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If you could host a dinner and anyone you invited were sure to come, who would you invite? Louis Catorze doesn’t really have any friends, so his dinner party would be a quiet affair consisting of just him and Cat Daddy. I don’t suppose even I would be invited, although I would probably be expected…
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Louis Catorze is having a ball in our absence, just as we thought he would. We are moderately offended at how disloyal he is, but at least we know we won’t be subjected to a post-holiday sulk upon our return. He has been spending a lot of time out in the rain. Our chat-sitteur was…
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Cat Daddy and I are in our favourite place in the Scottish Highlands and, although we have barely started this holiday, we have already started thinking about the next one. I wonder how receptive he would be to a trip to Minneapolis around late June next year, to witness this absolute cracker of an event?…
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We have a new Prime Minister and a new government. They are by no means flawless, but we were at such a low that we would have happily accepted anyone. (Well, maybe not Donald Trump or Nigel Farage. Or Marine Le Pen. Anyone but those three.) One of the perks of being Prime Minister is…
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*WARNING: CONTAINS IMPLIED PENIS-CAUGHT-IN-ZIP INJURY REFERENCES. (Cat Daddy made me write that.)* Louis Catorze has just been for his steroid injection. It’s probably a little early, but we wanted to tick it off before going away on holiday. Having the jab makes him less likely to have skin problems, but it also makes him more…
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Since Cat-Disliking Friend is a science teacher, whenever I have a science question that I can’t be bothered to Google, I ask him. And, when I say, “May I ask you a science question?” his usual response is to roll his eyes and say, “It’s not about your cat again, is it?” Just before the…
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What are you most worried about for the future? If we’re talking about the short term, I worry about Louis Catorze misbehaving and being a massive shite. Long term … well, it’s the same thing. It’s the school holidays. And, naturellement, because this is Catorze, there has been trouble. Yes, ALREADY. I was sitting in…
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We have had to abandon Louis Catorze’s fancy Versailles drinking glasses and replace them with his old Bodum tumbler. And you are not going to believe this: the little sod is still spilling water. I came downstairs this morning to the tumbler standing amid a LAKE of water. He didn’t spill water from the tumbler…
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When the air is hotter than the surface of the sun, and you’re a black animal covered in fur, what better than to have humans skivvy around trying to find ways of keeping you cool? And, if they happen to work up a sweat doing so, tant pis pour eux. Louis Catorze used to like…
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It is 28°C right now. To British people, this is hotter than a thousand suns. And, naturellement, now is the time that my fur-covered pet, who ordinarily couldn’t give a shite whether I live or die, wants to cuddle me. At the beginning of the day, I thought Louis Catorze was dying. There was no…
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How was Louis Catorze’s summer solstice? Well, I wouldn’t know. I barely saw him because he was constantly out, with his activities varying from sunbathing to fox-goading to Rodent Duty. Oh yes, Rodent Duty. ‘Tis the season. Look at his silly little ears stood to attention: In other news: another day, another Zoom call ruined.…
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How do you waste the most time every day? Probably by reading and writing about cats, although I don’t consider it a waste. I consider it time well spent, especially when I read about cats who are bigger shites than mine. (Unbelievably, there are some out there.) I don’t know what is happening to the…
louiscatorze.com 