Tag: cats
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As you are aware, Louis Catorze is visibly more unhinged than usual when it’s a full moon, so much so that I don’t even need to check my moon phase app; his behaviour is enough of an indicator. Last night we had a Blue Supermoon. I don’t understand what one is exactly, but that’s irrelevant;…
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At the start of the week, the chat-sitteur who looked after Louis Catorze whilst we were in Scotland, came round for dinner with her lovely family. Catorze was happy to see her, but BESIDE HIMSELF to spend time with her brother (no great surprise there as he, erm, prefers the company of gentlemen). And, luckily,…
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Oh. Mon. Dieu. I have just accidentally pocket-called Ocado whilst feeding Blue the Smoke Bengal (whose mamma is away). So one of their delivery drivers now has a six-minute message from me, telling him what a gorgeous, meaty boy he is. Cat Daddy, when I told him later: “Can’t you just delete it?” Oh my.…
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What brings you peace? Peace? In this house? You must be joking. A few days ago, a video popped up on my social media feed entitled, “How to tell if your cat is spoilt”. Obviously I need to contact Meta and ask them to check their algorithms, because that couldn’t have been intended for me.…
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*WARNING: CONTAINS UNPLEASANT REFERENCES TO PUKE* We came home after a night out to find a nice pile of cat puke on the bed. Louis Catorze has never thrown up on a bed before, not once in ten years. And, because we didn’t know it had happened, it had seeped through the duvet cover and…
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Describe your life in an alternate universe Part 5. Holy hell. In the 1998 film Sliding Doors, PR executive Helen misses a train; we see how her life unfolds after that, as well as seeing an alternate universe in which she DID catch the train. I look back upon The Great Salmon Grab and long…
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I have just witnessed a squirrel screaming at Louis Catorze, and I think it might be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Initially, when I heard the sound, I thought it was a magpie or a crow. I wouldn’t ordinarily bother to investigate such sounds, because I know that Catorze probably started it and that…
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Describe one habit that brings you joy Louis Catorze LOVES going out in the rain. Nobody understands it, but he does. After a few utterly unbearable days of heat, it has finally started to rain. The vast majority of Catorze’s kills take place during storms, so we await the next few days with some trepidation.…
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Was today typical? Typical of what? If we mean typical of what would happen to most people most of the time, I hope not. But typical of the usual shite that happens here? Most likely, yes. Louis Catorze has just dipped his tail into my tea. This has happened before but, on this occasion, he…
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On Friday night, Cat Daddy and I watched the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics. If you missed it, just chug a couple of shots of overproof vodka and watch back-to-back episodes of Dr Who (from the 1970s, not recent ones) on YouTube, and you’ll have a similar experience. And, if you fancy a giggle,…
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I have decided to call this little photo-story “What the hell is happening here?” Although he did it in our previous house, Louis Catorze has never used the bathroom window here as an entrance or exit route – well, not to our knowledge. But, last night, for whatever reason, he did. Nobody knows why. Once…
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What are your future travel plans? Cat Daddy says, “Anywhere. Quick.” Remember Louis Catorze’s less-than-enthusiastic welcome home? Well, all that changed when I made crab pasta. As soon as he smelled it, THEN he wanted to be my friend and had plenty to say about it. Here is a tiny snippet of what we were…
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We are home, and feeling quite smug that we missed the heatwave. (And, by “heatwave”, I mean that it was 30°C for one (1) day. We’re British. Being a bit pathetic in the summer is what we do.) Louis Catorze greeted me with a dismissive scowl, then walked towards me and flopped down just out…
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I really miss cats. We haven’t been short of wildlife during our stay here, but the best part of my whole day is sitting on the sofa, drinking green tea with Louis Catorze on my lap. So it’s been very strange not being able to do that. We have been lucky enough to spend time…
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