Tag: cats
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Do you trust your instincts? I run a paranormal club at school, and the kids who attend certainly trust their instincts. They’re nobody’s fools. Once a year, we play a game called Chocolate Fortune Telling. We ask a question which can be answered with a yes or a no, then draw a Lindor chocolate out…
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Cat Daddy and I escaped to the south coast on Saturday, leaving Louis Catorze in the care of Family Next Door, and I am writing this in the car on the way home. We had hoped for a bit of a break from feline bullshittery. We didn’t get one. The horror unfolded in our bedroom…
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What book are you reading right now? One of my friends gave me the this Classic Tales of Horror anthology for my birthday. Every non-work morning – because some of the stories are too long to read in the short time I have before going to work, and I couldn’t cope with the suspense of…
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Louis Catorze’s new favourite place is atop the trellis which would have held our honeysuckle plant, had it decided to actually grow properly. Bizarrely, Blue the Smoke Bengal has also recently decided that it’s his new favourite place. However, rather than surveying his kingdom, which is what Catorze does when he sits here, Blue is…
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Fair play to the good people of Felpreva, who replied very promptly to my email about Louis Catorze’s discoloured fur. These are the points that they made: Following application of any topical spot-on treatment, there is sometimes a powdery white residual left behind; although this is normally brushed away or wiped away with a damp…
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SAINT JÉSUS ET TOUS SES ANGES: Louis Catorze has just chugged down my matcha latte. And I don’t mean he licked a bit; I mean he had a good, long drink, like a parched desert horse who hadn’t seen water for a week. I heard the slurping noises but, because it was dark and I…
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I’m not complaining about the fact that I only have to give Louis Catorze his spot-on once every three months. Really, I’m not. But what a shame it seems to be bleaching/staining (we’re not sure which) his once-black fur. We fully expect the texture of the fur to change temporarily after application. We even expect…
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Louis Catorze has survived Diwaliween / Bonfire Night / Firework Week / whatever you call a fireworky time when it’s meant to be short but ends up going on for ages. There have been further firework disturbances in and around TW8 since the night of the 31st but, since they were the tolerable bangy kind…
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Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchenTime to stop my feline from itchingI yawn and stretch and give Catorze a squeeze Open the box and pull out the vial Try to apply but miss by a mileWhy’ve chumps like me got to bust those ticks and fleas?Busting ticks and fleas, what a…
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What an eventful night we’ve all had. Cat Daddy and I made three kids cry, another drop his sweets in shock, and a third group scream so loudly that they scared Louis Catorze. Naturellement we broke character when we saw that our scares had been rather too successful, and we did the British thing of…
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Despite looking forward to this day all year, I’m not really ready for it this time around and I’ve done the square root of nothing in terms of planning. Regretfully, this includes Louis Catorze’s Official Hallowe’en Portrait. As you know, Catorze will never be that supermodel Chat Noir who looks amazing in Hallowe’en-themed photoshoots. He…
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It’s half term. And, whereas most cats wake you up on weekends/holidays at the same time that they would wake you during a working week, mine decided, on the first day of my break, to wake me FORTY-FIVE MINUTES earlier than my usual weekday alarm. What an absolute bastard. By the way, this was before…
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Some of our friends have given us a lovely selection of herbs, including not one but TWO types of catnip. We’ve been keeping the herbs outside to prevent them from a slow, painful death by central heating. However, when I came downstairs yesterday morning, this was the sight that greeted me: Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs:…
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The beautician came over a few days ago. As you are aware, Louis Catorze has ruined around 753 of her appointments (this one was the worst), but this doesn’t appear to have put her off from returning. And, before you ask me why I don’t shut him out of the room when the beautician comes,…
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