louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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We have managed to solve the long-standing mystery of how Louis Catorze manages to come indoors with a parchment-dry body and a dripping wet tail. As well as drinking from his water glass, Catorze drinks from the rainwater that pools on our outdoor table. This makes it impossible to answer when the vet asks us…
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What are you doing this evening? Having ignored me for much of the summer, now that temperatures are dropping (not by much, but we’ll take it), Louis Catorze seems to have remembered that I exist. So, hopefully, this evening I will be watching a horror film with him on my lap. Here he is, pictured…
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What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? Psychopathy and narcissism aren’t exactly brilliant traits. Why, then, do we tolerate them from cats? For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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The mousey saga at my sister’s house has come to an end, although neither Otis nor Roux did a single thing to bring about this resolution. The humans kept a bucket in the living room, with the intention of using it to catch the mouse in the unlikely event of seeing it scurrying around. Yes,…
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The males of this household seem to be on sort of synchronised bullshittery mission at the moment. And I could really do without it. Cat Daddy let Louis Catorze out at The Front again the other night. Luckily, this time, I had managed to catch Catorze and administer his thyroid medication beforehand, so it wasn’t…
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My sister and her family have been exiled from their own living room for several days now, due to an impinging mouse. The situation has not moved forward in the slightest since I posted about it last week. Louis Catorze’s cat-cousins Otis and Roux have failed to catch the mouse. Or, rather, Roux DID catch…
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What brings a tear of joy to your eye? Here in the UK, autumn is coming early. Falling leaves and ripening berries are usually among the joys of September but, this year, because of our apocalyptically dry summer, we started seeing them as early as mid-August. I don’t want to like this, because I know…
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Cat Daddy and I sat down to watch Brentford play Bournemouth a couple of nights ago. Because it was hot, we had the patio doors wide open and a mattress cover drying on the clothes horse outside. From the corner of my eye, I saw the mattress cover move. Then this happened. May I remind…
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How are you feeling right now? Honestly? I’m feeling quite relieved that someone else’s cats are bigger shites than mine. This doesn’t often happen so, please, just let me have my moment here. My sister and her family have been cast out of their living room due to a feline/murine takeover. Louis Catorze’s cat-cousin Otis…
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I am not impressed with the males of the household. A couple of nights ago, despite my strict instructions not to do so, Cat Daddy let Louis Catorze out at The Front “because he loves it there, and it’s not fair not to let him enjoy his summer” (?). (Cat Daddy used to say, “This…
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Merde. I have sustained the most middle-class of all injuries: a cut finger, whilst opening a bottle of port to make Cat Daddy a cocktail. (It was a Suburban, merci for asking: three parts whisky, one part each of rum and port, and a dash of Angostura bitters.) The resulting sticking plaster has added a…
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Tell us about the last thing you got excited about. Louis Catorze is an old man aged fifteen. We are starting to see that he’s slowing down physically – more laboured pitter-pattering, no more hunting (so far) – so you’d be forgiven for thinking that not much would cause him to even flick a whisker,…
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I have just caught Louis Catorze chewing on the flip-top lid of a water bottle. It’s not often that Cat Daddy and I buy single use water bottles, as we prefer refillable bottles, but I was caught out on a hot day when I’d forgotten to bring water, so I had to pop into Planet…
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We have two types of glove in our stash of Catorzian thyroid-medicating supplies: plastic ones and latex ones. I am in the habit of referring to them all as “plastic gloves” when describing administering the meds but, in fact, we have a mix of both. Until now, I have only used the latex ones and,…
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