Category: Uncategorized
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Cats: do you ever worry that your behaviour isn’t bad enough? Do your humans think you are a Good Boy/Girl? If so, here are Louis Catorze’s top tips for remedying this state of affairs: 1. Drag filled-to-capacity bin bag across hallway. 2. Tip bin bag over. 3. Allow bin bag to leak bin juice and…
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Ever since MouseGate last week, eerie things have been afoot at Le Château. Louis Catorze’s eating habits, which always shift a little during CST to account for the increased daylight hours, have gone completely haywire. In the mornings he still wakes me as if wanting food but, when we come downstairs and I plate up,…
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We have just had builders in, fortifying the battlements at Le Château. As you know, Louis Catorze LOVES tradesmen – builders, gardeners, locksmiths, anyone, really – and one of his favourite things to do is annoy them and make their work last for longer. On the morning that the builders arrived he was in especially…
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Cat Daddy came home from his weekend away on Monday morning. Upon his return, Louis Catorze completely failed to acknowledge him, choosing, instead, to sleep on my lap. This kind of behaviour is utterly out of character for him. And there was no full moon, no Mercury Retrograde, no thinning of the veil, no Lucifer…
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Scour the news for a story. Consider how it connects to your life. Write about that. (The original brief was for an “entirely uninteresting” story, but I ignored that bit.) It was International Cat Day yesterday. We didn’t bother telling Louis Catorze because he already thinks every day is all about him, so it wouldn’t…
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What are you curious about? Cat Daddy is away at a festival, so it’s just me and Louis Catorze at home. No, I wasn’t tempted to go. And, after accidentally clicking on a link that was a video of a Glastonbury toilet, I knew that I would not attend any outdoor festival, EVER, as long…
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Have you ever had surgery? What for? It seems I’m trying to attain the world record for the greatest number of surgeries undertaken by a human being. I have had the following, so far, in this order, with the last one only last week: ⁃ An osteotomy ⁃ A disc fusion ⁃ A myomectomy ⁃…
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A couple of nights ago, when I was sitting in the living room with Louis Catorze on my lap, Cat Daddy walked into the room and said, “There’s a huge full moon outside.” Not even a second after those words had left him, Catorze jumped off my lap, ran to the window and headbutted the…
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Which activities make you lose track of time? We all know that Louis Catorze can tell the time; look here, here, here and here for examples of when he has proven this. And, after a few days of living with our chat-sitteur whilst we were in Scotland, he worked out what time her alarm went…
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Louis Catorze’s trip to the vet on Friday gave us a few surprises. In typical Catorzian style, he was loud. However, we weren’t quite expecting the, erm, VARIETY of screams uttered when we did the Walk of Horror across the park. Even Cat Daddy flinched at one of them and said, “Eurgh. That’s not a…
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What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being? In addition to enjoying the best food (Orijen and Cool Cat Club) and taking plenty of exercise in and beyond the grounds of Le Château, Louis Catorze stays well with regular trips to his royal physician. Sadly, she is about to leave her post…
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Cat Daddy and I returned home on Sunday evening. Upon arrival we were greeted by the chat-sitteur, who regaled us with tales of Louis Catorze’s almost-exemplary* behaviour during her stay at Le Château. He made a particular impression on her boyfriend, who declared that he’d “never met a cat like this before”. Yup. We know…
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Who is your favourite historical figure? It won’t be a surprise to learn that it’s Louis XIV, the Sun King. On the other hand, what may be surprising is the number of common points that Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, shares with his human counterpart: 1. Becoming king at the age of four:…
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*Most likely because a cat started it. Dogs or cats? A colleague and I were once talking about dating. No, not the two of us dating each other, but about dating as a general concept and, more specifically, what people ought to reveal about themselves on the first date. I added, “Most blokes would be…
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