louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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What is good about having a pet? I was about to answer this by saying, “Having someone love you unconditionally”, but then I remembered that Louis Catorze couldn’t give a shit whether I live or die. So, erm, never mind. As you were. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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We all know that Louis Catorze uses either creepy staring or screaming when he wants to get his way. The creepy staring is usually deployed when he’s hungry. Despite being thicker than a concrete milkshake, Catorze knows perfectly well that, eventually, being stared at will make us feel so uncomfortable that we’ll end up dropping…
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It’s a horror film trope as old as time: a raging storm on Hallowe’en night, when any right-minded, God-fearing creature would be safely tucked up at home, with the doors locked. This means, of course, that going outside on such a night would be reserved for the following individuals: Can you see where I’m going…
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Hallowe’en is upon us, and the big question is: did I manage to achieve anything even faintly resembling a portrait of Louis Catorze? Well, yes. Furthermore, what’s unique about this year’s Official Hallowe’en Portrait is that, this time, it’s two sets: one is a standalone piece and the other, a pair. The single photo was…
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What’s something you believe everyone should know? I want everyone to know that our cuddly, purring little overlords are actually murderous psychopaths. However, I think the world is starting to catch onto this. I’ve been watching American Detective on Discovery Plus. One of the best things about it is the acerbic presenter who, when the…
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You have three magic genie wishes. What will you ask for? Quite frankly, I only have one wish right now: for Louis Catorze to produce a passable Official Hallowe’en Portrait. However, the chances of this happening are slim-to-zéro. Cat Daddy’s friend Mike has gifted us with six monster pumpkins from his allotment, some of which…
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Remember when Louis Catorze ditched his papa and decided that he liked me? Well, now he doesn’t. Our initial theory was that Cat Daddy spent much of the summer in shorts. Catorze is not a fan of bare skin against his person/feline so, now that the weather is cooling and Cat Daddy is back in…
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Whilst the Diwali festivities continued throughout Tuesday night, Louis Catorze decided to do some partying of his own. It wasn’t that long ago that we were saying “We hardly ever see other cats in the garden” so, naturellement, he felt compelled to prove us wrong by entertaining this gentleman caller: Cat Daddy spotted them on…
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I have just upgraded Le Blog to the Premium version of WordPress, after running out of space on the previous one. I have no idea what kind of features are available on this plan, but no doubt I will find out soon. When upgrading, I was asked to choose between a two-year and a three-year…
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What have you been working on? Repairing and rebuilding. Yes, Louis Catorze. YES, REALLY. Cat Daddy took Louis Catorze to the vet last week, whilst I was at work. It’s been a good couple of months since his last steroid shot, so the little sod has done quite well to get this far before needing…
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When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why? Honestly? Every single domestic cat. Yes, all of them, in equal measure. Nothing defines success quite like conning your way into a household and then spending a lifetime being lavished with the best food, the best medical care…
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At the start of this week, I visited Family Next Door to give them their “Thank you for chat-sitting” gifts. They reported that Louis Catorze had been so screamy during our weekend away that they almost called us to ask if it were normal. (Of course it’s not. Nothing about life with him is normal.…
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Cat Daddy and I went to visit my sister at the weekend, in an effort to escape feline bullshittery. We failed in our mission. Mesdames et Messieurs, it may well be deep autumn here in the UK, but nobody appears to have told Roux this. The little sod is still merrily hunting, as she did…
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