louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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Describe a man who has positively impacted your life. Louis Catorze loves men and, whenever groups of people visit us, he will seek out the gentlemen of the party. I don’t know a cat can know what a man is and what a woman is, but he does. Years ago, when he was off his…
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*WARNING: CONTAINS TALK OF BLOOD.* Merde: I have cut my thumb on a can of Louis Catorze’s wet food. You won’t be surprised to hear that this was because he was screaming and screaming at me as I struggled to open it and, in my fluster, my hand slipped. If you’ve watched any action films,…
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It’s almost a year since The Great Salmon Grab, and I’m still being screamed at every time I prepare fish. Cat Daddy: “You know why it’s happening. You left salmon out for him.” That’s not what happened, but ok. Cats can, apparently, lose their sense of smell as they grow older. Since Louis Catorze is…
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Part 20. Oh. Mon. Dieu. What triggers Louis Catorze more than a room with Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon in it? A room WITHOUT Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon in it, it seems. Now that our mealtimes have been irreparably ruined, we are forced to shut ourselves away if we want to eat fish. Catorze screams and batters at…
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What are your favourite physical exercises or activities? Unfortunately the only exercise that I’m permitted to do, whilst recovering from my operation, is walking, five times a day. I started with five minutes each time, and this week I’m on six. Cat Daddy laughs at me for logging each five-to-six-minute walk on Strava, and says…
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A couple of days ago, I had an online meeting with a student from my school. Usually I would not advocate working when on sick leave but, because this student needed help, and because he is super-nice, I was happy to do it. As you know, Louis Catorze loves nothing more than to annihilate online…
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It’s December! (Well, ok, it was December a few days ago, but I didn’t bother to say so on the 1st.) Whilst dog people will be spending the festive season trying to stop their dogs from stealing deadly food, we cat people will be battling to keep our feline overlords from completely decimating our decorations. …
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I’ve been home for almost a week now, and I’m feeling ok but its been quite hard. It’s amazing the little things you take for granted until you suddenly find you can’t do them. You know, standing up, sitting down, putting your socks on, those kinds of things. Louis Catorze continues to remind me that,…
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What is one thing that you would change about yourself? Louis Catorze says he’s perfectly fine as he is, merci for asking. He thinks it’s other people who ought to change THEIR inadequate selves, and most of them needn’t stop at just one thing. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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What are your feelings about eating meat? Meat? Meh (although Louis Catorze is partial to a bit of jambon de Bayonne). Fish? OH MON DIEU. This ear-bleeding din (below) was just a small part of what happened when I accidentally dropped a piece of tuna on the floor. I actually missed the loudest and most…
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Thank you to everyone who has sent me good wishes. I came home from hospital yesterday morning, which was quite a bit sooner than the three to five days usually anticipated. For all those people who said, “Louis Catorze will be so pleased to have you home”, look at this video: I told you, didn’t…
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I’m in hospital at the moment, having just had intense but standard (and planned) surgery. However, because they had to switch last-minute from The Simple Version to The Complicated Version of this particular procedure, I’m here for an extra night. Cat Daddy has been in to visit me. However, Louis Catorze hasn’t even noticed that…
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Cat Daddy took Louis Catorze for his booster vaccination at the weekend. And, when they weighed him, we discovered that he had dipped below the 3kg mark for the first time in his life. Catorze now tips the scales at a lighter-than-air 2.94kg and, for whatever reason, this has made me a little sad. The…
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Name your top three pet peeves. Will seven peeves do? With this many cats all creating havoc, there’s no way I’d be able to narrow it down to just three. Mercury Retrograde starts today. So, far from cats’ bull- and/or apeshittery calming down after last Friday’s full moon, it’s actually likely to get worse. This…
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