louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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Last week I went for an acupuncture session, to help me recover from the after-effects of my surgeries. Through complete coincidence, it turns out that the acupuncturist lives in our street. This kind of thing happens a lot in our town. After my treatment, the acupuncturist messaged me to remind me to keep warm afterwards.…
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Every night, Louis Catorze comes to join me for a session with the red lamp. We both lie in bed together, watching its colours dance across the walls and ceiling, before falling asleep. I can’t prove this, but somehow I feel that the magical powers of the red lamp help me to fall asleep more…
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Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time? No. None whatsoever. Every time I start to think Louis Catorze is too old for one of his usual pastimes – catching mice, ambushing Ocado delivery drivers, picking fights with the local wildlife, that kind of thing – he proves me…
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My 6:45am alarm didn’t go off on Wednesday. Luckily I was realised that something was amiss when I heard my phone buzzing with text notifications, which are only set to come after 7am. When I checked through my schedule to find out what had gone wrong, I saw that my alarm was set for three…
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And in today’s episode of Unidentified Crud Found On My Cat, we have … well, what exactly DO we have? Nobody knows. Nor does anyone really want to get close enough to find out. Louis Catorze came in from outside looking like this: We think the offending substance could be any one of the following: …
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Remember cats and jigsaw puzzles? If there had to be one cat to take the concept even further, of course it would be Louis Catorze’s cat-cousin Rodan. Imagine a naughtier version of Catorze, with youth on his side and the benefit of a sidekick (his sister Mothra) to egg him on. Yes, exactly. Here is…
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What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it? I thought, at his age, that Louis Catorze would be too scared to try death-defying acrobatics, on account of his creaky old bones. Yet here we are. I didn’t have to dare him, bribe him or even put…
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What do you complain about the most? Louis Catorze has the whiniest, most irritating voice on this earth. The problem with this is that, when he uses his voice – and he uses it A LOT – we have no idea whether he’s complaining or not. Our visitors, upon hearing his screams, often take pity…
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Louis Catorze gave us a massive scare a few nights ago. I walked into the living room, where he was sound asleep, and he didn’t stir in the way that cats do when someone makes a noise during their nap. I called his name, even poked him in the body, all to no avail. I…
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Remember when Louis Catorze wouldn’t eat a piece of fish unless it was mushed up into an insipid paste? Curiously, this seems to be a selective affliction only affecting cat food. If said piece of fish happens to be hot-smoked salmon skin, for instance, he’s fine. I know. Imagine that! We caught him out the…
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Rodan and Mothra thoroughly enjoyed the festive season, when they were surrounded by people, and they have been feeling rather needy since everyone returned to their respective workplaces and schools. Here they are, happily snuggled up in their human sister’s bed. But just look at Rodan, on her pillow: Now, did he see an opportunity…
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If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be? Despite playing dumb, our cat understands plenty. WE are the ones who need help in understanding HIS stupid shit. Cat Daddy and I don’t often have baths, because we much prefer showers. Yet, when I do have a bath, I have to wash…
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After learning about some of the gross things that are in tap water – if you don’t know, trust me, you’re better off not knowing – I decided to treat myself to an eco water filter. It’s eco because, instead of throwing away a plastic filter cartridge every few weeks, you open the cartridge, empty…
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The last few weeks have been something of an experimental period, to try to establish a feeding routine for Louis Catorze now that he’s on wet food. This is what I’ve discovered: In addition to all of the above, the new intake of wet food means a constant round of washing Catorze’s fancy Japanese ergonomic…
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