louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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When British people say, “The weather is getting warmer”, what they probably mean is that it’s 0.01°C less cold than it was yesterday. This time, however, Louis Catorze can feel it. And the little sod has been outside for hours. Catorze absolutely LOVES being outside, and his favourite spot is his plinth underneath the outdoor…
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Who are your favourite people to be around? Louis Catorze loves men. Family members, friends, tradesmen, random passers-by in the street, whoever. He’s not fussy; any man will do. We have no idea how a cat can know what a man is and what a woman is, but he does. And, whenever we have company,…
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One of my lovely friends sent me a weighted blanket as a recovery present. (The one and only good thing about recovering from surgery is that people send you some really good stuff.) If you’ve never heard of one of these before, it’s exactly as it sounds: a blanket that’s heavier than it looks, due…
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What’s your favourite sweet? Remember cats and jigsaw puzzles? Remember cats and Lego? Well, look at what we have here: a little Roi having a nap on a paper bag. Nothing to see here, right? Except that in that paper bag is Cat Daddy’s stash of chocolate honeycomb bites from the worthy, plastic-free bulk foods…
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Last week I went for an acupuncture session, to help me recover from the after-effects of my surgeries. Through complete coincidence, it turns out that the acupuncturist lives in our street. This kind of thing happens a lot in our town. After my treatment, the acupuncturist messaged me to remind me to keep warm afterwards.…
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Every night, Louis Catorze comes to join me for a session with the red lamp. We both lie in bed together, watching its colours dance across the walls and ceiling, before falling asleep. I can’t prove this, but somehow I feel that the magical powers of the red lamp help me to fall asleep more…
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Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time? No. None whatsoever. Every time I start to think Louis Catorze is too old for one of his usual pastimes – catching mice, ambushing Ocado delivery drivers, picking fights with the local wildlife, that kind of thing – he proves me…
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My 6:45am alarm didn’t go off on Wednesday. Luckily I was realised that something was amiss when I heard my phone buzzing with text notifications, which are only set to come after 7am. When I checked through my schedule to find out what had gone wrong, I saw that my alarm was set for three…
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And in today’s episode of Unidentified Crud Found On My Cat, we have … well, what exactly DO we have? Nobody knows. Nor does anyone really want to get close enough to find out. Louis Catorze came in from outside looking like this: We think the offending substance could be any one of the following: …
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Remember cats and jigsaw puzzles? If there had to be one cat to take the concept even further, of course it would be Louis Catorze’s cat-cousin Rodan. Imagine a naughtier version of Catorze, with youth on his side and the benefit of a sidekick (his sister Mothra) to egg him on. Yes, exactly. Here is…
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What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it? I thought, at his age, that Louis Catorze would be too scared to try death-defying acrobatics, on account of his creaky old bones. Yet here we are. I didn’t have to dare him, bribe him or even put…
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What do you complain about the most? Louis Catorze has the whiniest, most irritating voice on this earth. The problem with this is that, when he uses his voice – and he uses it A LOT – we have no idea whether he’s complaining or not. Our visitors, upon hearing his screams, often take pity…
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Louis Catorze gave us a massive scare a few nights ago. I walked into the living room, where he was sound asleep, and he didn’t stir in the way that cats do when someone makes a noise during their nap. I called his name, even poked him in the body, all to no avail. I…
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Remember when Louis Catorze wouldn’t eat a piece of fish unless it was mushed up into an insipid paste? Curiously, this seems to be a selective affliction only affecting cat food. If said piece of fish happens to be hot-smoked salmon skin, for instance, he’s fine. I know. Imagine that! We caught him out the…
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