louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Author: iamthesunking
-
What major historical events do you remember? This one. Oh God, this one. Seven years ago yet forever carved onto my soul, for all the wrong reasons. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
-
I’ve started watching a souped-up version of my usual paranormal investigation shows, called The Demon Files. The lead investigator, Ralph Sarchie, is a straight-talking ex-NYPD detective. I’m a bit scared of him, and I definitely wouldn’t want to be interviewed by him (especially if I were guilty), but his no-nonsense approach makes for quite compelling…
-
I have a subscription for Louis Catorze’s Orijen, and I imagined that this would be pretty foolproof in terms of never running out. The next delivery arrives well before the previous lot has run out, and that’s how it works, non? Ahem. Pets Corner emailed to tell me that there were stock issues, but stupidly…
-
What’s something most people don’t know about you? Sometimes bad things happen that are actually NOT my cat’s fault. Now, please hear me out. We’ve always known, haven’t we, that, if you cry wolf too many times, nobody will believe you in the event of a real emergency? There is a toothy black cat who…
-
We have had to start shutting Louis Catorze, or ourselves, in the front room during meal times, so that we can eat without being headbutted and screamed at. I have complained to many fellow cat freaks about this, and I have been met with little-to-no sympathy on account of the fact that their cats have…
-
If Louis Catorze weren’t French, I am certain that he would be Japanese. This is not only because his alien eyes are straight out of a Manga storybook, but also because the Japanese love cats: dressing up as them, having street festivals dedicated to them, the whole works. Most of us who claim to love…
-
What principles define how you live? “Just when they think you can’t possibly be more of a bastard, prove them wrong.” Such a Catorzian way to be, and Louis Catorze lives up to this every single day. The little sod always sleeps next to me at night. Then, one night, he didn’t. I didn’t think…
-
I have just had to eat my dinner* with my plate balanced on my left knee, and with my right leg repeatedly kicking away a screaming cat. *It was chicken fajitas topped with sour cream and cheese, merci for asking. Every time I kicked, he came back for more. Despite only being the size of…
-
One of my friends has just been over for our annual cemetery visit and horror fest. (I’m not joking: this is actually what we do together, every October, and it’s become a much-loved tradition.) Because she has chat-sat Louis Catorze in the past, he knows her well and loves her visits, so I fully expected…
-
*WARNING: CONTAINS TALK OF DEATH AND GENERAL CREEPINESS.* A few days ago, Cat Daddy was watching television in the kitchen when Louis Catorze raced past him and clattered out through the cat flap. It turned out that there was a much larger (but then all cats are much larger than Catorze) tuxedo cat in the…
-
A few nights ago, I had to turf a very indignant Louis Catorze off my lap to answer the door. It was a lady that I’d never seen before. Lady: “Hello, I live at number sixty-three [or whatever number it was – I was so mortified at being caught out in my pyjamas at 8pm…
-
Discovery Plus, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One of those ways is Ghost Town Terror, a series about a family who buy an abandoned pioneer ranch in Montana. They find a mummified cat in the crawl space under one of the buildings and, from that moment onwards, in addition to…
-
You’ve always known that Louis Catorze is a creepy little sod. However, I’m about to show you an example of kitty creepiness that is common among all of them. ALL OF THEM. They may not always demonstrate it but it’s there, lying dormant until it suddenly breaks through the surface at a moment when you…
-
Which topics would you like to be more informed about? Our vet recently posted this on social media, and I want to know more: Clearly there was An Incident that triggered this post, and I am overjoyed to be able to say, with absolute sincerity, that it was nothing to do with my cat this…
louiscatorze.com 