louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Month: Apr 2018
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You know when people of a certain age raise their eyebrows at anyone who was born after 1989, and wonder how on earth these babies manage to crawl about the planet on their own? Well, it’s exactly the same with cats. When people post pictures online of their cats aged 1 or 2, I think,…
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Louis Catorze isn’t that interested in human babies. In fact, he isn’t interested in much. However, he was delighted to hear that the new royal baby has been named after him. He is confident in his belief that the newborn prince is no threat to his monarchy – despite the little upstart weighing over 1lb…
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After first sticking his back leg in my tea and then kicking it all over me, Louis Catorze settled down with me to watch one of those maximum security prison documentaries. (We’re more low-brow than one would imagine – it’s not all Balzac and Baudelaire here at Le Château.) And it seems that, in Indiana…
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I don’t know whether I feel less alone, or more appalled, to learn that other cats ruin things, too. The occasion was Cat Granny’s 90th birthday party, held at Cat Auntie and Cat Uncle’s beautiful house in Somerset, and the culprit was this attractive, slightly boss-eyed chap. I spotted him in the garden, called him…
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Great news: the beautician is back! She peered around cautiously as she entered Le Château, as one would if forced to enter an abandoned asylum where a chainsaw massacre had taken place. “Is Lewis around?” she asked. (Yes, she pronounces his name “Lewis”, but I don’t expect he will care about this at all. Plus…
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It is said to be bad luck when a black cat crosses your path. So what can it mean when one runs at you, screaming, and tries to trip you up as you retreat? This is what happened to the Conservative party candidate when he came canvassing today. And Cat Daddy is punch-proud that his…
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It had to happen sooner or later, Mesdames et Messieurs, and today is the day: Louis Catorze has pitter-pattered in smelling of man-perfume. And it’s not Cat Daddy’s, because he only wears man-perfume very rarely. LITTLE SOD HAS BEEN SNUGGLING ANOTHER MAN. Cat Daddy: “You mean he’s been snuggling at least one other man, as…
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