La malédiction de Mercure

Oh. Saint. Jésus. As well as Hallowe’en being on a full moon this year, Mercury will also be in retrograde.

This is a period said to occur around three times a year and, in short, everything goes wrong. Travel is disrupted, misunderstandings occur, that email that you think was sent isn’t received, and so on. I tend not to look ahead to find out when the next Mercury Retrograde is, because I would rather not know. But, if things happen to be going particularly awry, I find myself checking and, more often than not, it’s here.

This time around, warnings appeared on my social media feed without me looking it up. So, even though I didn’t want to know, I do. And, now, so do you. You’re welcome.

The worst thing is that there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do about it. It would be more useful to read something like “If you must travel, protect yourself by carrying in your pocket thirteen hairs from a black vampire cat” but this kind of advice is never available. (That said, I’m pretty sure I could reach into any pockets of any clothes, dirty or clean, and find thirteen of Louis Catorze’s hairs.)

Mercury Retrograde is said to affect pets in various bizarre and/or undesirable ways: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2020/02/22/half-uk-pet-owners-think-dog-cat-acts-differently-mercury-retrograde-12284377/amp/

Now, if we were to visualise cats on a baseline scale from 0 to 10 in terms of freakishness, and to award one point for each of the thirty strange behaviours listed on the link above, even the worst cat in the world would only have a maximum total score of 40. However, if it’s a black cat, that’s automatically worth another 20 points. Plus we are approaching a full moon (+50) on Hallowe’en night (+666), and of course this is Catorze (+443,566). So, unfortunately, things aren’t looking promising for us.

The little sod has already started to ramp up the annoying behaviour by screaming, thundering around the house at all hours like an army of soldiers, and so on. Even The Count himself can’t cope with it and has decided to end it all (see photo below).

Mercury Retrograde is from 14th October to 3rd November. If you fancy monitoring your pets and letting me know how they get along, I would love to hear from you.

This wasn’t the ending that Bram Stoker had in mind.