Une chanson pour fêter l’anniversaire de Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside-down.
And I'd like to take a minute just to let you know.
I'll tell you how I became the Sun King of Le Château.

In north-west London was where I was found.
In fact, NW10 was my stomping ground. 
Chilling out, scratching and making some noise,
Screaming at people, chasing after boys, 
When a very kind lady, who saw I was sick,
Took me to a local rescue really quick.
I had a long, long wait but was picked one day. 
They said, "You're moving to Le Château to be Le Roi Soleil."

I screamed and I hollered at them day after day.
I was so excited when they sent me on my way.
They bade me farewell, told me I was a lucky cat, 
And, as soon as I'd gone, they said, "Well, thank God for that!"

Ooh la la, this is first class,
Drinking water out of a Bordeaux glass!
Is this what the cats in TW8 live like?
Hmmm, this might be all right!

I meowed for a chauffeur and, when he came near,
The licence plate was French and it had cats on the mirror.
If anything, I could say that this cab was slow.
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Allons au Château!"

I pulled up to Le Château about two or three
And I said to the chauffeur, "Je vous remercie!"
I looked at my home, and what a wonderful thing
To sit on my throne as the rightful Sun King.

Le petit prince

Louis Catorze isn’t that interested in human babies. In fact, he isn’t interested in much. However, he was delighted to hear that the new royal baby has been named after him. He is confident in his belief that the newborn prince is no threat to his monarchy – despite the little upstart weighing over 1lb more than Sa Majesté – and he concurs that Louis is a good, strong name. 

However, he was more concerned upon learning that some might pronounce it “Lewis”. This is his “SERIOUSLY, Mesdames et Messieurs?” face. 

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Catorze might just about forgive the beautician for her mispronunciation, on account of her fearing for her life an’ all, but, as far as he’s concerned, the rest of us have no excuse. 

I am sure you will need no reminder that he was here first. Nor will he need to reiterate that a king trumps a prince.