L’alpha et l’oméga (Partie 2)

Not long ago, I picked up Louis Catorze’s bowl to wash it and found two pills underneath it. The little bastard had eaten off the Pill Pocket casing, then somehow hidden the pill. Twice.

And remember when he liked his Omega 3 vol-au-vents? Yeah, well, now he doesn’t. And, as per his usual méthode de travail, he decided this right after I bought further supplies of Pill Pockets.

This meant that I had to find another way of getting the Omega 3 into him. It’s too big a capsule to Greco, and I didn’t dare squeeze it onto his food for fear of giving him another excuse to go on hunger strike.

I then had the idea of, erm, squeezing it onto his body and letting him groom it off. The only problem was that, should he fail to groom and just let it air-dry on himself, I would be left with a greasy, fishy, screaming furbag pitter-pattering around and rubbing disgusting oil everywhere. But it had to be worth a go since the Omega 3 made a huge difference to the little sod’s yucky fur after just a week of use.

Anyway, this was the sequence of events that followed:

1. Pierce hole in capsule and sit on sofa with holey capsule just within reach.

2. Target sits on my lap.

3. Squeeze contents of holey capsule onto my finger, ready to rub onto Target’s body.

4. Target scarpers, leaving me with gross, fishy gel on finger.

5. Wait for Target to return and, as I do so, fishy gel starts to melt on my finger. There are no non-porous items within reach onto which I can temporarily scrape fishy gel, other than my pot of lip balm (SORRY to Cocoa the babysit cat’s folks, who gave me said lip balm).

Nothing sweet about this.

6. Target appears to realise that something is up and doesn’t return to my lap.

7. I pick up lip balm, casually walk towards him then pounce, rubbing the pot against his arm and transferring the fishy gel onto him in one smooth movement. Am probably prouder of this than is normal/appropriate.

8. Target is perturbed by what’s just happened and doesn’t know what to do. He remains frozen for a few seconds.

9. Target scarpers.

10. Target returns and grooms off the fishy gel. I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MY MISSION. (Well, it was about time. My missions can’t just go on failing forever, right?)

Anyway, since we now have 639 packets of Pill Pockets, the little sod has been able to send some to his buddy Dexter (below) in India, who is being a bit of a shite about taking his medication.

“Nah … not gonna eat that.”

And Cat Daddy was highly amused to discover where the most recent Pill Pocket shipment had passed through before coming here:

Never been but it sounds dodgy as hell.