J’adore mes invités

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This weekend Louis Catorze had another visit from one of his many internet admirers. Cat Daddy rolled his eyes when I told him of this lady’s impending arrival. “Not because I mind people coming,” he said, “but because it must be such a massive anti-climax for them when they see Louis.”

Excuse-moi?

“They’re probably too polite to say, ‘We came all the way here for THIS?'” he continued. “And I don’t suppose it’s possible for them to post a message on the forum warning others not to bother coming, without you reading it too. So there’s going to be a perpetual stream of people coming, feeling disappointed and then leaving. Like being trapped in an eternal cycle of samsara without ever reaching nirvana.”

At this point I had to Google what the heck he was on about, hoping to catch him out by saying, “Actually, samsara is Hindu but nirvana is Buddhist” or some such thing but, annoyingly, he appeared to have got it right.

I told Cat Daddy that everyone who had visited Louis Catorze thus far had found him nothing but delightful (although this is probably because, when he’s feeling unwell and anti-social, I don’t have people round). “In that case, we should give everyone something to make their pilgrimage worthwhile,” Cat Daddy said. “Like those rosaries and trinkets that they sell at Lourdes. I think it would be hilarious to arm all the cat freaks in London with Louis Catorze stuff.”

Ok, so … you think people would be disappointed by our cat so, to compensate them, you wish to give them a keepsake of said disappointing cat? A keepsake in the style of a SAINTLY RELIC? There is no logic whatsoever in that, yet I do agree that it would be funny. A little creepy, and the kind of thing that some sort of subversive cult leader would do, but also funny.

So I shall happily take suggestions from Le Roi’s followers: what sort of merchandise would make you feel adequately recompensed for an “anti-climactic” trip to TW8? Fridge magnets? Key rings? Prayer candles? Do please reply and let us know. And, if you have already visited him, don’t worry: retrospective gifts can be sent to you so that you don’t miss out, even if you have come from overseas.

Oh my. So one day Louis Catorze is washing his arse and puking on the floor, and the next he’s being deified. No doubt this would seem weird to most but, when it comes to him and his ridiculous life, tout est possible.

Faites vos dévotions à moi!

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It’s been another eventful weekend at Le Château. First of all, the onset of autumn has meant a glut of daddy long legs(es?), so Louis Catorze has been busy catching and eating them. Despite being a bit dim in most areas of life, he is surprisingly adept as an insect- and arachnid-hunter and has even been known to leap from laps, shoot across the room in semi-darkness and gulp down some hapless creature that was minding its own business on the opposite wall. And, just as wildlife photographers don’t interfere when a Thomson’s gazelle meets its end at the hands of a predator in the Serengeti, I stay out of it and let nature take its course.

Louis Catorze also had a visit from another of his loyal subjects, who had read about him online and wanted to experience the warmth of the Sun King first-hand. These visits are starting to become a regular thing, which is most delightful for all of us at Le Château, and they have even been likened to pilgrimages, with reverent followers coming from near and far to bestow blessings in the form of cuddles and toys.

Cat Daddy snorted with laughter at the idea of our boy becoming a sort of latter-day Notre Dame/Seigneur de Lourdes, and said, “He’s a scraggy, black runt! What POSSIBLE benefit could anyone reap from coming to see him?” Well, the fact is they continue to come; we have 2 more visits lined up next month, and I daresay there will be more after that. If people can be so inspired by an unremarkable-looking, special needs black cat, I see that as a major coup in the battle against black cat prejudice which currently sees them as the least popular and last-picked of all cats.

Health-wise, Louis Catorze is continuing to remain allergy-free, although both Cat Daddy and I sense that this run of good fortune is soon to end. That’s just the way it goes with our boy, with good and bad episodes coming and going in cycles, but I’m always on the lookout for the next thing that could help him. A very kind friend and Roi-enthusiast recently recommended rooibos and chamomile as possible soothers of irritated skin and, with Cat Daddy and I both being tea lovers, we have heaps of both in our kitchen. So, whenever it may be that things start to go bad again, we’re ready with a new weapon of choice.