Le dernier testament

As we approach that time of year whose very essence is darkness and death, it somehow seems apt to mention that Cat Daddy and I have just been for a meeting with our solicitor about our wills. And it went something like this:

“Have you written a will before?”


“Do you have any idea of what should happen to your estate upon your passing?”


“Have you talked about your funeral plans with anyone?”


“Have you nominated anyone to have power of attorney in case of your ill health?”


“Have you made ANY plans for what might happen after your death?”

“Well, we’ve made arrangements for our cat.”

[Silence, tumbleweed, crickets]

Obviously, if one of us departed before the other, the remaining one would take care of Louis Catorze. (Cat Daddy has just read this over my shoulder and says he wouldn’t, but we all know that he loves his boy.) However, we discovered when planning for the unlikely event of Catorze outliving both of us, that the issue of who would have him isn’t as straightforward as we thought. Many of our friends and family members have cats, or love cats, but that’s not to say they would want another one. Especially not one like Le Roi.

Here is a written summary of our discussion and conclusions:

⁃ My mum: has a cat who has one feline best buddy but hates all others, so no

⁃ Sister 1: has recently adopted a cat who has a history of scaring other cats, so no

⁃ Sister 2: husband is a dog person, so no

⁃ Neighbour 1: has Oscar the dog, so HELL no

⁃ Neighbour 2: has Cocoa the babysit cat who enjoys life as an only cat, so no

⁃ Neighbour 3: “likes cats, but wouldn’t want to live with one”, so no

⁃ Neighbour 4: is sick to death of having to bring Sa Maj back to us every time he escapes at The Front or breaks into his house, so no

Luckily, Catorze’s ex-rescue have a policy of allowing their ex-cats back into the fold should circumstances change. And, as they not only know his intricate and elaborate history but also saw fit to spend in excess of £12,000 trying to make him well, I would feel more comfortable with them heading up his rehoming process than with potentially inconveniencing someone who didn’t really want a(nother) (complicated) cat. So I have asked one of my sisters to be in charge of contacting them and arranging for them to collect him, and hopefully they would be able to find another set of suckers family to take him on.

I don’t suppose any of us really want to think about our cats outliving us. But we should probably still plan for it, just in case.