Brexit signifie Brexit

Cat Daddy has been telling Louis Catorze for some time that, as a black French immigrant with suspicious inconsistencies in his paperwork, he could very well find himself booted out after the United Kingdom leaves the European Union. But, thanks to the postponement of Brexit, the little sod is still here; with nobody knowing what the flip is going on and the rest of the world either pitying us or laughing at our incompetence, he doesn’t appear to be going anywhere yet. And, come to think of it, neither do we.

That said, none of the problems potentially affecting us humans look set to bother him in any way. Whilst Cat Daddy and I are wondering whether we should stockpile continental cheese in case it runs out, there is no such issue with Sa Maj’s treats: Lily’s Kitchen Fabulous Fish is manufactured in London, so we should have no problem keeping that coming. Jambon de Bayonne might be a little trickier to obtain, and it is highly likely to be more expensive when we do, but that’s our problem to fix, not his. 

Free movement is irrelevant to Le Roi because he doesn’t travel. He stays put and people from all over the world come to him, and we have a guest book to prove it.

As for border control … well, this is meaningless to most cats as they can’t comprehend the notion of places being off-limits, but it is especially meaningless to those armed with a Cloak of Invisibility and/or the skill of teleportation. With a constant stream of neighbours, delivery people and random passers-by knocking on our door to tell us that “the cat wants to come in” when we didn’t even know he was out, we are yet to come across a border that has prevented Sa Maj from pitter-pattering where he wants.

So … will Brexit have ANY impact on him and how he lives his life? See below and try, if you will, to spot the difference between real life and my prediction for the future: 

Left: life before Brexit

Right: life after Brexit 

Je devrais rester ou je devrais partir?

The EU referendum vote will be taking place today. We have had a number of conversations about it at Le Château, and Louis Catorze has made some insightful and thought-provoking observations:

Me: “What do you think of the referendum, Louis?”
Le Roi: “Mwaah!”
Me: “Meow twice for Remain and once for Leave.”
Le Roi: “Mwaah!”

Me, a few seconds later, to make sure that that last “Mwaah!” wasn’t an accident: “What do you think of the referendum, Louis?”
Le Roi: “Mwaah!”
Me: “Meow once for Remain and twice for Leave.”
Le Roi: “Mwaah! Mwaah!”

Oh. I see.

Me, some time later: “But you realise that, if we left, your Château stronghold could be in jeopardy? I mean, you’re a French migrant …”
Le Roi: “Mwaah!”
Me: “… And you’re living off British taxpayers [me, Cat Daddy and all the pilgrims who have brought him gifts] and not working …”
Le Roi: “Mwaah!”
Me: “… And you don’t have many skills that add value to society …”
Le Roi: “Mwaah!”
Cat Daddy: “MANY skills? Name one skill that he has.”

[Silence, tumbleweed, crickets]

I haven’t the faintest idea which way the vote will swing. But, since Louis Catorze has declared out (twice), and given that he is the crappest of the crap when it comes to making predictions, I think the chances are we will be staying in.

And, so as not to be accused of influencing anyone’s vote – although I would be SERIOUSLY worried about anyone allowing Catorze to dictate their decision – here is the fickle and unintuitive Sun King, this time exercising his right to remain neutral: