Louis Catorze’s course of eye ointment came to an end on Thursday. (It should have been Wednesday but I did an extra dose to make up for the night when we got drunk and forgot one.)
Although administering it was horrible, towards the end of the course he’d even started coming for post-meds cuddles, although I imagine this is because he’s so thick he forgot he’d just been medicated. It’s hard to know whether he’s healing as he looks ok from some angles and awful from others, but he seems to be in good spirits. He’s been well enough to be out at all hours in yesterday’s storm, and also well enough to dig up our bulbs, resulting in unrepeatable expletives OF THE WORST KIND from Cat Daddy. (And, before you say anything, it wasn’t the foxes this time. It was definitely Catorze.)
In other news, the little sod imprisoned us in the house the other day.
Every night we double-lock the front door but leave keys nearby, close enough for us to grab in the event of fire, alien invasion or zombie apocalypse, but not so close that a psycho with a fishing rod and a magnet could reach through the letterbox and grab them.
A few days ago, in the early hours of the morning, I heard the sound of keys downstairs. Sure enough, Catorze had been playing with the emergency set and had kicked/pushed them to some unknown location, possibly under the sofa or between the floorboards. Only he knows where they are, and he ain’t telling.
In short, he had locked us in the house.
Cat Daddy, later that day: “But we have other keys. It’s not as if we had no way of getting out.”
Me: “But that’s not the point. He didn’t know that. His intent was the same.”
Cat Daddy: “…”
Me: “Like when people are convicted for attempted murder instead of actual murder and end up getting a lesser sentence. They still meant to kill, and it was just by chance that the victim got lucky and survived.”
[Silence, tumbleweed, crickets]
Cat Daddy: “I don’t think you’re really comparing like for like.”
Anyway, Catorze naturellement gives zéro shites about causing trouble, and meanwhile we were the ones scrabbling around to find a new place to put our keys (although we still haven’t found the first set).
It’s a scary day when protecting your house from external psychos/demons is easy, yet it’s the psycho/demon WITHIN that poses the greatest challenge.
jesuisleroisoleil 
Still chuckling at the photo! LOL! Made my day! Louis, Louis, Louis! Where did you ditch those keys?
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I think it will forever remain one of the Great Mysteries of Life. 🕵️♀️
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Since Catorze can teleport, perhaps he assumes you can do the same? In that case, the keys are a mere bauble for the King’s amusement.
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You could be right! 😱😱😱
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Never mind, l’m sure you’ll come across them when you are doing your spring cleaning!!🤣🤣🤣
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Yes, you’re probably right! Or we will find them at the same time that I find the puke I heard him doing in May 2016 (or maybe 2018) but have never found.
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Erm…Methinks he gave them to his Partners In Feline Crime, Halloween Committee. I’d advise you to sleep with one eye open, although I suspect you already do…🙀
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This isn’t great, is it? In horror movies, when the security guard loses his keys, it never ends well.
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Oh Louis Catorze … where the fluff are those keys?
My guess, although I like the idea of the teleporting, is that he has them hidden somewhere in order to open the door and invite his black fellow felines (and creepy guests) on halloween 🎃 for a surprise party 😸
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Who knows? Under the sofa? Under the floorboards? In a portal leading to another dimension? 😱😱😱
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Gulp…sleep with both eyes open! 🤪
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😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
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Keep the keys in a tin box which will keep errant paws away. Also stops your car being stolen via use of a relay to activate the remote unlock.
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Good plan!
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You will find them when you pack to move to a new house or maybe after your death when they clear out your possessions!
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Highly likely! And Catorze will have outlived me and he’ll be sitting by them, cackling.
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That is a great pre-halloween photo of Catorze
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Thank you! Maybe now people will believe me when I say he’s EVIL. 💀
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Ah ! The classic horror story : “The phone calls are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE !”
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With a Catorzian twist: “The psychotic screaming is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE.” 😈
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Put a hook up high on the wall by the door. He shouldn’t be able to reach that. My hubby used to misplace his keys all the time until I put a hook in the kitchen by the back door.
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When you say “he” do you mean the psycho with the fishing rod or Catorze?
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LOL. I meant Catorze.
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🤣🤣🤣
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Ha– love the picture. I hope you’ve found your keys 🙂
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Erm … still nope. 😳
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Oh dear. Next time you tell him his curfew, maybe also mention you’d like your keys back? He might take pity.
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He might. Unlikely but I admire your optimism!
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When it comes to cats, all we have is optimism 😉
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Since he didn’t set the house on fire, I’m sure it was an accident
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It wasn’t. It never is. 🤣
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