La canicule

~ iamthesunking

When it’s this darned hot in the UK, two types of people emerge:

1. Those who stock up on Ambre Solaire and head straight for the beach, even if it’s a 14-hour drive and they have no air conditioning in their cars

2. Me

It’s horrendous. Just foul beyond belief. Last night was so grim that I came downstairs at 3am to sleep in the kitchen, and Louis Catorze, confused by the change and/or wondering whether I had gone there to die, kept me awake for hours by clambering all over me, screaming. The only saving grace is that I don’t have to go to work in this heat. Except for, erm, today, because it’s exam results day. And, given that assessment and moderation have been completely thrown into disarray by Covid 19, today is going to be more of a cirque de merde than we ever thought possible.

People who live in places hotter than the UK: “You should try living HERE!” No, I really shouldn’t. That’s why I chose here and not there. But thank you. Your comments have been duly noted.

Cats in heatwaves are another matter entirely, and they seem to manage much better than humans. Catorze has been spending his days playing energetically with his catnip toys and sunbathing outside, popping occasionally into his shady spot in the ferns to take a break. Sometimes he joins Cat Daddy at the end of the garden, lying at his feet like a guard dog and scowling at me – an audible scowl, would you believe – should I have the temerity to approach them.

Whilst Cat Daddy and I slow-cook in bed at night, Catorze is either enjoying nocturnal adventures, going exploring as far as Twiggy the greyhound’s house, or napping in his new favourite place: on our laundry basket. I imagine that it has the double benefit of air circulating underneath AND a textured surface on which to squirm and roll. A cooling, massaging/exfoliating spa treatment, if you will.

So it’s all right for him.

But, as any cat owner will understand, it’s all about them. It’s only ever about them.

Here he is on the laundry basket, looking as cute and kittenish as can be. But we know the truth:

“Très confortable, merci for asking.”

30 thoughts on “La canicule”

    1. It’s been horrific. Nights are just awful, lying there sweating away with an annoying Roi padding about and screaming.

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    1. You must come and see him again. When you visited, he was just on the edge of that particular bout illness and he wasn’t fully settled in Le Château. Now, of course … well. You know. 🤣 You would be stunned by the change in him!

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        1. No fur, but I looked over the fence last night and there is an ARMY of foxes living in the school at The Back. I counted maybe 7 or 8, possibly more but it was hard to tell as they were all gallivanting around. I don’t fancy Catorze’s chances against that many!

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  4. I saw something on Reddit (cross-posted from Tumblr I think) about how there’s a (Ancient?) Greek word for “bad at summer”. I wish I could remember it because *that is meeeeee*.

    (Okay, so I googled it because it’s been bugging me all week. I don’t think it’s the original but here’s a link to a tweet about it. [https://twitter.com/sodiumlitskies/status/1016312806428246016?s=20] The word is kakotherēs but I have no idea how it’s pronounced.)

    Meanwhile, my floofster spends most of her time in the lounge (coldest room in the bungalow during the winter, not so much during the summer) away from the fan (and my melting), away from the cool Lino in the bathroom and hall, away from the cool glass of the windows… She sprawls out to maximise air flow, but she seems to be trying to STAY WARM rather than cool off! /shock horror/

    At least your greenhouse is gone so you don’t have to worry about His Maj roasting alive in there?

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    1. Yes, the fact that the greenhouse is gone is a big relief. I was always terrified of shutting the door without realising he was in there … 😱😱😱

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  5. Is the party responsible for reopening the school aware of the foxes? Or is school not opening soon? Is it legal to relocate foxes? (Or even possible?)

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    1. The school set traps for them. 😢😢😢 We are not supposed to know because one of our neighbours found out by snooping illegally on their property. One trap is right by his house so when he hears a fox in there, he sets them free again. 🤣 I don’t know if it’s legal but it’s probably immoral as they live in families, so you can’t move one without moving the whole lot.

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    1. Yup, in the most recent few days it rose to 35 at its highest. And the previous freak one-day high (I think about 10 days ago) was 37.8. 😱😱😱

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    1. Haha, yes! It’s a humane trap, if you can call being shut in a cage “humane”. So not really humane at all. I don’t know how often they check it but, since it was the summer holidays and lockdown, I’d imagine it’s never. 😢😢😢

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    1. Here in the UK, we have no air conditioning. None whatsoever. I think it might even be illegal. 😱

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      1. That is a problem.I once renting an apartment with my ex-wife near Chicago. all the apartments had window air conditioners but when we rented ours it did not include an air conditioner. The summers were brutal. I also had a car back then with no air conditioner. I brought that car with me to Florida and had it for several years in Florida before getting rid of it.

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        1. Ugh, that sounds awful! I don’t think we’re geared up for extremes of temperature at all. Heat, snow, even fallen leaves and heavy rain, we can’t cope with any of it. 🤣

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    1. There is a sofa in the kitchen. I slept on the very same sofa the first time the little sod was ever Côned, and we didn’t have a litter tray for him and all the shops were shut. So I slept on the kitchen sofa with the back doorstep open to allow him to access les toilettes royales. 😱

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