Louis Catorze remains relentlessly and unnervingly punctual when it comes to his Front Curfew (10pm on weekdays and 10:30pm on weekends). He has never been late, not once, not even by a minute. It’s actually getting creepy now.
On Tuesday night, when we were a little later than usual after watching Brentford play Fulham in the EFL Championship play-offs (don’t even ask how that went), Cat Daddy decided to grant his boy a late pass until 11pm.
Me, as Cat Daddy opened the window: “Would you remind him that he has to be back by 11pm?”
Cat Daddy: “What, you actually want me to say it?”
Me: “Yes, please.”
[Silence, tumbleweed, crickets]
Cat Daddy, to Catorze: “11pm, please.”
Catorze, as he bounded out: “Mwah!”
Cat Daddy, muttering under his breath: “[Unrepeatable expletives]”
Unusually, instead of hanging around on the window sill, this time Catorze took off down the street, and I was convinced that that was the last we would see of him that night.
When Cat Daddy put out the recycling, he could just about make out Catorze’s silly shape rolling undignifiedly all over the pavement outside the gate of number 35 (or thereabouts). But he knew the futility of trying to herd him back in, because the little sod would only dart under a parked car and there would be no retrieving him from there.
We had no choice but to make some tea and sit with the window open, steeling ourselves for the fact that this could be a long night.
Then, before we knew it, the little sod was back. I checked the clock and it was 10:57pm.
We haven’t the faintest idea what to make of this. Yes, we are pleased that he is sticking rigidly to the rules and doing as he’s told. But we’re also bewildered. And terrified.