Le lion a suffisamment de dents pour se sentir bien dehors

Have you ever seen one of those 1980s movies where the small-town neighbourhood bad boy is undignifiedly hauled home to his parents by the local sheriff? (I haven’t, but I am sure that it must have happened in some 1980s movie at some time.) 

Well, Louis Catorze’s troublemaking-about-town has reached such a level that neighbours have started knocking at our door to return him to us. Cat Daddy is BEYOND mortified about this although, curiously, he fails to see that it wouldn’t be a problem if we* were more vigilant about keeping The Front under lockdown.

*HE

The first time that this happened, Catorze had slipped out unnoticed at The Front and his screaming could be heard from the living room of one neighbour, disturbing his TV viewing. A couple of weeks ago, he had slipped out unnoticed again and had tried to get into the same neighbour’s house as their dinner guests were leaving. And the most recent incident involved him slipping out unnoticed YET AGAIN (I think I may detect a pattern here) and ambushing Oscar the dog’s mamma and sister, screaming, as they left the house. They politely knocked at the door a few nights ago and said, “Louis is outside at The Front, and we just wanted to check that you knew?” Erm … no. 

I never know what to say when the little sod is returned to us. I can’t even lie and say, “He’s never behaved like this before” because it tends to be the same people who keep bringing him back, and they all know what he’s like. 

I am trying EXTREMELY hard to be careful at The Front, but Cat Daddy is somewhat more, erm, relaxed when he puts out the recycling. With Hallowe’en – which I am spelling authentically for the first time ever – around the corner, and the very real danger of Catorze being mistaken for a novelty vampire cat toy and scooped up into some kid’s treat bag, we need to up our game. (Yes, most cats would probably loudly and violently object to being carried off by a gang of sugar-high youngsters, but this is Sa Maj we’re talking about.)

And I have just checked my calendar and realised that it’s a full moon tonight which, let’s face it, adds another complication into the mix that we really don’t need. Someone needs to intercept The Mothership’s transmissions très rapidement. 

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Thank you to Emily for this amazing photo of the little sod who is, most unusually, moving AWAY from the front door

16 thoughts on “Le lion a suffisamment de dents pour se sentir bien dehors

  1. such a beautiful photo of sa majeste. and in my home i am having a porch put on the front. i have a catio out the back as i now have 3 fur babies after losing my adored gorgeous oscar back in may(to be fair the 3rd one only arrived yesterday and i currently have absolutely jo idea where heis. he is called Steve to peopls total hilarity). i made the decision to not allow roaming. so they have 50 cubic metres of catio with grass plants patio stones partly roofed shelves with boxes covered with artificial grass to climb up on a covered area with cat houses and furry blankets should they go out in the cold. toys and wavy things amd a ;large weeing area inj one corner. . but sometimes they head for the front door so i have decided a small porch there by having 2 doors. maybe worth contemplating ? and okea sell a reqally cute set of bins for putting recycling in and i saw someone with them in the hall area so when you p-ut it all out you collect it from behind the closed old front door and take it out the new one without chance of escape…..

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    1. We live in a conservation area, so we are not allowed to construct anything even at The Back, (which is out of view) let alone at The Front (which is visible). And even a set of double doors is powerless against the Cloak of Invisibility …

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    1. He makes sure not to leave any scars by going for psychological, rather than physical, torture. That way nobody believes us. 😧

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