No doubt your parents will have warned you about People Off The Internet and how idiotic and untrustworthy they are. Now, I realise that this includes all of you. And me, too. However, this doesn’t make it any less correct.
“But People In Real Life can be just as idiotic and untrustworthy,” I hear you cry. This is true. But they tend to hold back a little, due to the manners gene (which appears to be deficient in People Off The Internet). There’s nothing like the internet for turning people into judges, psychologists, experts and so on, and, if they don’t like what you are saying, they can just press a button and switch you off in a way that they would never have the courage to do in real life, even if it were a thing.
I have been kicked out of my Feline Hyperesthesia group. My crime? The Group Admin lady disapproved of me weaning Louis Catorze off his medication. Even though I was following professional advice. Even though she herself is not a qualified practitioner. Even though Louis Catorze is flourishing without medication. And, most importantly, even though what I do, or don’t do, for my cat is none of her flamin’ business.
Cat Daddy: “You’ve been kicked out of an online cat forum?” [He says the words “online cat forum” very slowly and pointedly, in an Alan-Rickman-as-the-Sheriff-of-Nottingham voice, before collapsing in hysterics.]
And who can blame him? Falling out with the Group Admin of an online cat forum (God, now I’m SAYING IT IN MY HEAD in an Alan-Rickman-as-the-Sheriff-of-Nottingham voice) is hardly up there with Nelson Mandela and the Rivonia Trial. In fact, even capitalising the words “Group Admin” is probably giving the title more importance than it deserves.
Rather than face the backlash from others who were also sick of her and her connerie, the Group Admin lady has since decided to close down the group entirely. I have now joined a Feline Hyperesthesia rebel splinter group founded by a lovely lady who was kicked out alongside me, for similar reasons. So, actually, things have turned out rather well. And, yes, I realise that, the internet being the way it is, my words may well get back to the (now ex-) Group Admin lady. But she can’t kick me out twice. So, just like Ashley Judd in Double Jeopardy, I can cause as much trouble as I like now (although homicide might possibly be a step too far).
Anyway, to finish on a positive note, here is Louis Catorze, unaware of all the furore that he has caused. And, even if he were aware, he would make exactly the same face.